The Mercenary, Formally Known As Prince, Has An Intel Group Startup That’s Part McCarthy And Part Himmler

Have you heard of Project Veritas? You will. It may soon become more lethal than any pandemic. Under a Zano Administration, this group would be investigated, fined, jailed, and deported—preferably all at once while being waterboarded—but if El Presidente holds power, liberals everywhere will be systematically hunted and prosecuted for the equivalent of political jaywalking. Such partisan targeting is not new, but there’s a bigly difference for this round. Project Veritas is hedging its bets on the reelection of a despot by aspiring to become a new and highly politicized wing of the intelligence community. Let’s call them the Gestapo-lite of our budding new autocracy or the house that William Barr built. This important project is currently headed by Erik Prince, remember him? He started his career as a mercenary for Dick ‘Dick’ Cheney over in Iraq through training groups of so-called ‘peacekeepers’ who specialized in dirty money and war crimes. Prince, like everyone else in Trump’s inner circle, has dubious ties to Moscow, which admittedly is not as bad as having ties to Dick Cheney. Someday soon investigations into suspected treason will become, in and of themselves, treasonous. We are on this very threshold with the pending confirmation of John “MAGA” Ratcliffe to head the Office Director of National Intelligence (ODNI). If you recall—in a way Erik Prince apparently couldn’t during a recent congressional hearing—he lied about his meetings with Russian operatives and likely covered for the president during the Russia Probe. For this loyalty, he was duly rewarded by having all charges dropped by the president’s aforementioned new Roy Cohn. Prince is essentially a hired spook-wannabe for the, uh …let’s dub them The Shallow State. Think of Prince as the right’s Christopher Steele. Check out the Veritas Project website and you too can expose your socialist neighbors to The Shallow State! Seriously, they’re looking for the good kind of whistleblowers out there, you know, the ones who only whistle out of the right side of their cheek. For those still confused, the Blackwater guy, who was named a possible Trumpian co-conspirator by Mueller, got off scot-free so he could start selling Russia was a Nothing Burger merch over at his virtual store. And, if all goes according to plan, he then becomes the next J. Edgar Asshole. Make America Gestapo Again? I really want to email VP with false leads like: Hey, I got pictures of AG Barr humping a beanbag chair. Dude, get back to me on this one. I have my Photoshop team standing by.

Oh, and Burger King, if you’re listening, Prince and Company stole your buns icon for their t-shirt design, so flame broil their assess in court! Take your shot, creepy mascot dude, because there can’t be two kings in this brave new welt.

[Whopper of a lawsuit joke removed by the editor.]

Today over at the Veritas Project we find an article on a polling station director’s grave misdeeds. She showed political deference, a misdemeanor charge, by admitting publically that she’s voting D across the board. She also cried when Limbaugh was awarded the Medal from Freedom. Lock her up! Lock her up! Reminds me of my pre-Trump, floydian marching hammer article here.

“There’s one in the spotlight, she don’t like ‘rightwing’ to me. Get her up against the wall. ‘Gainst.The.Wall.”

—Pinko Commie Floyd, Another Prick and His Wall

Today I would add this lyric to this rock opera: “She’s showing feelings of an almost human nature!” Do I think polling station folks should follow their code? Sure, but is this more political jaywalking in the face of fascism? …Yavol!

Hint of the Day: No one’s political affiliation will stay muzzled amidst our next 1864 moment, nor should it.

Granted, the politicization of the DOJ is the bigger story right now, but what if, with Ratcliffe’s entrance, these Wonder Dims unite, form of, Nazi? Trump is not creating a functional government, but is he coalescing a formidable crime syndicate? Are we surprised a criminal would weaken anything he can’t fully control? This happened in Gotham, too, if you recall, under then-Mayor Cobblepot. In this environment, it is very possible this shady mercenary-type-goon could head a new branch of our intelligence community, a group with the sole purpose of keeping those wholly concocted Hannity conspiracy theories alive and well. Worse still, they can also become judge, jury, and executioner. And, as we have seen over the years, these Fox News scandals are like sea monkeys, just add bullshit. The difference under Trump is this: the executive, legislative and even the judicial branches may well be subsumed into this syndicate. Let’s also not forget Trump has an army of the uneducated ready to pounce on any perceived threat. Hey, is Bernie Kerik looking for work? He’d make someone a fine deputy director douchebag.

[Post-pardon depression joke medicated.]

A second article over at Veritas Project website covers the outing of an ABC anchor, David Wright, who is now deemed a known socialist. ABC fired him on the premise they’re trying to maintain some illusion of impartiality. Do you really want to remain impartial to fascism? Really?

Hint of the Day: In 2020, all journalists have picked a side, D, and all news entertainers have picked a side, R. In the immortal words of Mick Mulvaney, “Get over it.”

Meanwhile, Project Veritas likely played a part in Wright’s demise, because, per Politico, The Prince is hiring and training intel folks to infiltrate liberal groups and spy on anyone deemed hostile to El Presidente’s agenda.  As soon as you show socialistic tendencies, you will be added to The List.

[MAGAvellian and Scheister’s List joke carted off in the dead of night.]

So why fix the FISA process now, eh fellas? Fire that shit up, bitches, you got some libs to fry. That’s irony, isn’t it? They will bash the Feds for an imperfect process, but they will never really enact reforms because they will need those tools to root out their political enemies.

To his credit, Trump knew he had to double-down and take this schitznik to the next level or risk being exposed and/or jailed. Thus the nod to Ratcliffe, another zero-experience partisan-hack, to head the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. Spurred by the events of 9/11, the ODNI was formed in 2004 to help cut through the red tape and allow the 17 arms of the intel community to work together more unimpeded on a variety of potential threats. Wow! So now they can investigate the Obamas, the Bidens, and the Clintons all at once! Nice! The Fox will soon be running the Fed House. Welcome to my nachtmare.

“[Former CIA officer David Priess, is concerned] a partisan director like Ratcliffe might take an active role in managing the President’s Daily Brief instead of letting analysts do their job—substituting his personal opinions for the consensus view of the $70-plus billion intelligence community.”  —that same Politico article.

Let’s get out in front of this one and start adding gates to every liberal concept like Thuneberg-gate. Where was Greta during 7th period Math last week? Was she in secret communications with James Comey and Hunter Biden? I can’t Wait-gate.

Politico is funny. They peppered this article with Trump could, and this-or-that might happen. Give me a break. I think it’s checkmate, folks. Call it what it is, a successful constitutional coup d’eTrump. Even in 2020, people at the leading edge of political wonkery, don’t seem to get the scope. The DOJ and head of the Intel community might both be on the take soon, so the path will be cleared for their new Dawg Bounty Hunter, aka Erik Prince.

The ODNI is also the valve between the intelligence community and Congress, and lest we forget AG Willian Barr will be ‘The Decider’ on all potential political investigations. Here’s the scenario: “Umm, who is this Al Kita, guy? This isn’t about the Bidens, is it? I thought we talked about this. There’s a paper shredder at the end of the hall.”

The WH compliance office plan will have a two door whistleblower plan, depending on the subject of the tilt of the concern. The Shady or the Tiger? Worse still, a Prince led McCarthyesque-intel-branch (MIBs) would immediately become Trump’s darlings, aka the MAGA’s goon squad.

Future Presidential Tweet:

The ODNI’s expansion of power, post 9/11, makes it an easy step from wrangling the intelligence community to dictating. Yes, think about a Trump crony heading intel with a complicit DOJ. In your defense, republicans, it’s only been twenty years in the making so I can see you haven’t had time to catch up. Whereas I won’t enjoy the associated jail time for “blogular treason,” it’s a much more entertaining collapse than anticipated. In fact, it’s times like this I’m glad the stats for this site took a shit in 2016. I’m probably not on their radar. Thanks for doing your part! Well, not you …you’re reading this, ha ha.

Here are some of the questions plaguing me right now: is Prince’s efforts linked in any way to all the Trump’s recent media lawsuit rampage? The president is currently suing people for opinion articles in the land of the waning first amendment. Per the Atlantic, the object is not to win these cases—because, like all republican arguments, they’re garbage—but to strike fear and tamp down critics. The Atlantic also reports all three cases were deemed “frivolous” and were “corroborated by the Mueller report.” Still, this could have a chilling impact on journalism. Truth has never fit in the republican tent, at least in my adult lifetime. Consistency, what’s your policy?

Are there deeper ties between this power grab and the Kremlin’s? Is this all actually being orchestrated by the Kremlin? After all, Trump is dismantling the west and our democracy faster than Putin could have ever dreamed. There has to be someone with brains in this mix and that excludes anyone from the GOP. Putin is actually a very real possibility. What? …you think it’s Pence? …exactly. Even Dubya had his Cheney. How complicit is the Justice Department in this power grab? Is there any stopping these plans from coming to screwition? If Trump loses in 2020 this paranoid rant will appear as just that, but what have I been proven wrong about in the last fifteen plus years? Hmmm. Not much.

Meanwhile, Fox & Frauds will continue to do their part because, as they discovered long ago, any menial and low-level misstep from a progressive can be whipped into a major scandal, which not only gets the target in trouble but provides cover for their own misdeeds. They can make anything a news headline or the next Hannitized talking point. Weaponizing common fears, thought distortions, and cognitive biases will continue to propel their sick agenda until its too late.

“Is someone in your family smart? Do they have their own ideas about freedom that doesn’t match standard issue Fox News talking points? Let us know who they are and where they live and we’ll do the rest.”

—The Douche formally known as Prince

Yes, kids, this new freedom train probably leads to Buchenwald, but, don’t worry, it will be an Americanized version. Bookforest? Sounds less scary, doesn’t it? But no books, of course, unless you want to reread the Art of the Deal. Signed copy’s available for Veritas Project supporters and/or members of the new Trump Youth Movement. So you won’t be getting free tuition kids, but you will have access to free interrogations and affordable ideological reprogramming for any and all of those suspected of socialistic tendencies.

Meanwhile in the social media wasteland:

I’m not voting for Bernie. Or I’m not voting for ‘sleepy’ Joe!

So in your own small way, you support the new Gestapo!

I’m astounded that for the foreseeable future our reality will continue to be created by rightwing grifters and entertainers.  For those late to the party, this has been my rallying cry for nearly twenty years. Should Trump win a second term, many liberal politicians are in real danger of being swept into this web.  And there’s no end in sight …well, there is but only for our country.

You have to give Trump and company some credit. As I continually ask myself: is the problem the evil morons in power or the so-called liberal intelligentsia who can’t muster a resistance on par with a beer fart? The juxtaposition of being on the verge of full-fledged fascism, while social media remains replete with Bernie backed the Sanders-nistas! and Biden hugs people wrong! is amusing when one understands just how close we all are to the abyss. After a few more pints, I can probably hit that from here. Hold my beer.

It should be at the very least embarrassing to be a republican, but soon the reverse will be true. Liberals beware and democratic socialist should seek asylum. All coming soon to an autocracy near you. Although ‘witch hunts’ are common in our political reams, the tools Trump is acquiring to spy and even arrest his political opponents seem particularly sharp—even if he doesn’t.




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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.