Tweet Tower—The above image was taken of several Trump staffers enjoying themselves during a break by hitting a giant Coronavirus back and forth over a volleyball net, minus any protective gear. Many are calling the stunt emblematic of a huge disconnect between the WH and the inherent dangers of this growing pandemic. At least one liberal group is also claiming this act constitutes felony virus abuse and made the statement, “You can’t argue that it’s a variation of bad touch.” President Trump commented, “We had everyone playing volleybug tested, and they all tested negative …for taking the test. But the tests are here, in one of the closets. There are a lot of closets in the White House, so maybe by next Tuesday. I have my best housekeepers on it.”

Democratic frontrunner Joe Biden said, “The president is out of this depth on this one. I could get down there on a microscopic level and strike a deal with those viruses. If after WWII, I could successfully negotiate a treaty between Stalin, Churchill, and Kanye, this would be a tiptoe through the pancakes.”

Trump responded angrily to Biden’s comments. “We are doing a great job! A++ for the handling of this spamdemic!! Besides, the CDC said just to be sure to wash your hands after playing with the Coronavirus. We have this COVefe-19 thing on the run! Speaking of which, the boys are planning a relay race tomorrow. I told them to wear gloves, but they keep inflating them into different animals. Hey, it’s better than their Chugalug SARScrawl, or the I’m Bleeding From Eyes, Ebola Challenge. Young people are batshit today, which is how this all started, eating batshit.”

[‘No guano’ joke quarantined and deported back to Mexico.]