My Flip Flop Reversal

Dave Atsals

Wearing flip flops and a sweat shirt, I flip-flop through the channels as all these political analysts flip-flop on who flipped and flopped more. I flop in front of my computer and flip it on. My online search of ‘flip flop’ from the Marian Webster’s dictionary turned up:

Main Entry:

flip–flop

Pronunciation:

ˈflip-ˌfläp

Function:

noun

Date: 1600

1: the sound or motion of something flapping loosely 2 a: a backward handspring b: a sudden reversal (as of policy or strategy) 3: a usually electronic device or a circuit (as in a computer) capable of assuming either of two stable states 4: a rubber sandal loosely fastened to the foot by a thong

flip–flop intransitive verb

For the purpose of this article we will be focusing on 2 b: a sudden reversal (as of policy or strategy).

I once had a relationship that flopped after I could no longer flip the girl. We will not embarrass her by putting her name in this article, but the inquisitive type can contact Mick Zano; he dated her 20 pounds later. I flip off the political analysts who would so flippantly flop my character? I just chose pride over public embarrassment, and I no longer get off on being crushed in bed (insert flip flop reference here).

At five years old, Mr. Ed was the best show on television. I no longer believe that is the case; in fact, I’ve flipped flopped on my belief he could really talk.

Today’s politicians may not be as smart as me, or a talking horse for that matter. To change one’s mind or position is often a good thing. This current election season highlights these flip flopping positions. Barack Obama in the fall of 2007 said he would like to partake in a publically financed general election. As we know now he did not. But if he did, with the amount of public funds he was able to generate, I would question his intelligence. Have you given your five dollars lately? Joe Biden in April said “I am not interested in the vice presidency.” (No, I did not have further sexual relations with that fat woman).

John McCain in 2006 voted for the Bush tax cuts he opposed in 2001 and 2003. Is this a flip flop, a change in circumstances, or a Mr. Ed moment? His V.P. nominee supported the bridge to Nowhere while running for governor in 2006. After being elected she began to shift her position. “Thanks but no thanks, but doggone it we’ll keep the money.”

Throughout history many flip fopperies have transformed our country. In 1798 Thomas Jefferson supported a constitutional amendment that prohibited the federal government from borrowing money. But, in 1803 borrow he did, allowing the acquisition of the Louisiana Territory. Abraham Lincoln…a proponent of slavery? Check your history books. A change in circumstances? Well, anyway a few of Jefferson’s offspring’s where certainly for it.

FDR’s political philosophy was, in a way, a pro flip flop statement. He explained, “It is common sense to take a method and try it, if it fails admit it frankly and try another.” In the Dave Atsals’s dictionary (DVD), insanity means doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (Bush 2004).

There are three legitimate reasons for a sudden change of policy or political strategy: change in circumstances, your former stance is admittedly wrong or not working, and, perhaps most importantly, she got too fat.

Not included on this list are “women have the right to change their mind.” And neither is, I change your political stance daily according to where I am campaigning.

Barney Frank comes to mind as a politician that has used all legitimate and non-legitimate justifications for all the flip flops mentioned in this article, except for the ‘she got too fat’ one.

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