Trump Negotiates “Better Trade Deal” With Agrabah

agrabahGTrumpMLAgrabah—In a move that some are calling premature, Donald Trump is already Tweeting other world leaders in an effort to make America Tweet Again. Mr. Trump told the press today, “Lately I have been Tweeting a lot in the middle of the night, but not all of it is just Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Clinton jokes. It’s not. Sure that’s most of it, but I am also negotiating big deals, right now, with some major players across the Twitterverse.” #BigAgrabahOilDeal

The Trump campaign has released a list of recent “Key Tweet Exchanges” or KTEs. The Donald is already claiming progress on many such Tweetings #WinningUSA! Mr. Trump is claiming Admiral General Aladeen of Wadiya has agreed to lower the price of oil for the U.S., if he can fly Air Force One naked. “That’s a good deal,” said Trump. “I’ll just have some of my Mexicans clean the seats. We’re talking 20 bucks worth of cleaning products for much lower oil prices.”

Borat has yet to confirm this deal, but does admit he received an honorary degree this week from Trump University. Meanwhile, Agrabah has agreed to allow the construction of a Trump Casino right on top of an existing mosque. “That will be nice,” said Trump. “Find God in the lobby and shoot craps upstairs in the casino. It’s win win. Allah Akbar? We’re going to have Allah rock-bar.”

Historically the fictional of city of Agrabah has been poor at complying with such agreements, but The Donald claims this time will be different. “This is different. It’s different. The King of Agrabah knows I will magic-carpet bomb the shit out of him, if he screws with me. He knows this, after all, he’s a cartoon business man, like me.”

The King of Agrabah was unavailable for retweeting. Mr. Trump added, “Oh, and you know that floating island China is building in the South China Sea? Yeah, well they can keep it there, but only on one condition…”

 

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