The Libranos

The Libranos

Senator Nelson (NE) released this stunning conversation on the eve of the healthcare vote.  Our technical crew worked diligently to bring you the transcript version of this important audio:

Senator Nelson: “Mr. Rezko, Rahm, David…to what do I owe the honor?”

Tony Rezko: “Hayadooin Senator.  We need to come to some sort of understanding on the Healthcare bill. I’m of the impression that youse may be a ‘no’ vote.”

Senator Nelson: “Well guys, there are problems with—”

Tony Rezko: “Bennie, Bennie, It’s of da highest import dat youse vote ‘yes’ on dis here bill.”

Senator Nelson: “Bu-bu-but guys, I really got problems with—”

Tony Rezko: “Listen, if ya don’t go the way we needs ya ta go, youse got real problems.  I know youse guys got dis here Air Force base, uh wutisit, Offortt Sumtin? Now it sure would be a shame if sumtin wuz ta happin to dis here Base, wouldn’t it?”    

Senator Nelson: “What could happen to an Air Force Base?”


Senator Nelson: “You wouldn’t…”

Tony Rezko: “Just tink of da ten tousand poor Nebraskans widout a job. Dat would be a terrible ting.”

Senator Nelson: “You’d put the safety of the country at risk and put thousands of people out of work?”

Tony Rezko: “Safety of the country?  You tink we care about dat?  Two words, Bennie Boy, Janet Napolatano.  But enough talk. Rahm, David…bend some Geneva Conventions around this guy’s neck.”

(Sound of water running. Garble, garble, cough, sputter. Inaudible.)

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.