Dear Ghetto Shaman,

I saw this thing on the Discord where you auctioned off your virginity to charity. No offense, but who is going to believe you’re a virgin?

Madonna

Dear Madonna,

This might come as a shock to you, but, despite my best seller The Tao of Skullfucking, I have never been skullfucked.

The Ghetto Shaman

P.S. All proceeds will go to the Miley Cyrus BYOB Foundation.