The Ebola Spring

Pokey McDooris

There’s been a lot of hate speech directed at the Ebola Virus lately, and I think it’s time for people to stand up for the rights of the Unrepresented Parasiticals. We Americans are so human-centric, talking about containing the Ebola, fighting Ebola, and eradicating Ebola. We’re arming doctors, who seem to know no borders. They are nothing but mercenaries who should pick on someone their own size. The question I want all of you anthropomorphs to consider is this: doesn’t the Ebola Virus have rights to?

Who are we to pass policies of genocide against this virus simply because it’s different than us? Simply because we don’t understand it? Too many Americans have Germicidal tendencies. Citizens of the United States are always looking for a scapegoat so that we can avoid the real problems threatening mankind, like climate change.

How much climate change do you think Ebola is responsible for? None, zip, zero. Truth be told, Ebola fights climate change, and since all scientists agree that Climate Change is the most dangerous threat to our national security, we oughta be investing in the further the spread of Ebola. We should all do our duty as citizens of the planet and fly to Africa and lick an infected Liberian. Traviralocity? The Ebola virus is actually Mother Nature’s defense mechanism against the real virus of those carbon exhaling homo-sapiens.

So now everybody’s jumping on the bandwagon to wipe out Ebola, but who will speak for the viruses? Where’s the ACLU on this one?

“No eradication without representation!”

Who are these hatemongers who suggest that people with Ebola should be banned from flying on planes or riding on buses? This is human racism.

I commend the President for not restricting flights for the Ebola Virus. He has not caved-in to the hate mongers who want to take away the rights of the contagious diseases. It’s time that he passes an executive order granting a pathway to citizenship for all contagious diseases. We can call it, Germnesty. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

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Pokey McDooris

Pokey McDooris

Pokey is The Discord's chief theologian and philosopher. Pokey performs an important function here at The Discord, namely by annoying the living shit out of Zano, whenever he submits something.