It’s been a long week and I still haven’t gotten to the bank or post office, so could you please use your imagination a little bit? Humor me. Think about how oriental Chia Pets would react to the unethical cloning of those freaky childhood monkey-brine thingies from our childhoods. I wanted a decoder ring. They sounded cool. Sea monkeys were OK, I suppose, but there was nothing really monkey-like about them.