World’s Entire Fossil Record Created by One Obsessive-Compulsive Hoaxter

World’s Entire Fossil Record Created by One Obsessive-Compulsive Hoaxter

Taos, NM—Creationists and other fundamental Christian types are getting the last laugh today as the Archeological Institute of America has announced the Earth’s fossil record is one colossal hoax.  Last week a discrete serial number was found on the femur of an Iguanodon that supposedly existed in the late Cretaceous period.  The ‘so called’ monster is currently housed at New York’s Museum of Natural History.   Similar numbers are now being discovered on all of the bones of every species before 6000 years ago.  This hoax spreads to all fossils in museums and personal collections throughout the globe.

“Once we knew where to look, we found them everywhere,” said Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Creamery.  “A great many people spent their lifetime painstakingly unearthing such specimens.  It’s an outrage!”

On a good note there is some cause to celebrate.  This is proof a more Biblical view of geological time is accurate and that Darwin remains history’s biggest glue-sniffing monkey-humper to date.

“Evolution is dead,” said Phillip Johnson, evolution denier and closet cross dresser.  “It was obvious to us creationists. How can you not look around the world today and think ‘these people are evolving?’ It’s preposterous.”

Johnson went on to site Snookie, Snoop Dogg, and Snoopy the Dog. 

“This may have been more than one hoaxter,” said Dr. Hogbein.  “This was possibly a massive undertaking coordinated by a large group of very silly people. Obviously a race with an outrageous amount of free time on their hands as well.  How they buried some specimens in solid rock all over the planet is amazing.”

For their accomplishment they deserve our praise as well as our scorn.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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