Philadelphia, PA—The Daily Discord admits to releasing a picture of Texas Governor Rick Perry boiling children and shooting puppies as a cheap ploy to attract negative attention. The stunt was patterned after a recent Onion feature of a similar vein. The controversial Onion tweet involved reports of screams and gunfire coming from inside the Capitol Building. The Onion followed up with a news report on their website, a place four out of five bribed comedians find not nearly as funny as The Daily Discord.
“We saw the attention The Onion got for that tweet,” said CEO of the Discord, Pierce Winslow. “Meanwhile, we put Jesus on a wanted poster or we host everybody Photoshop Muhammad day, and we get bupkis. Yeah, we have no shame. It’s just high time someone noticed. We’re as despicable as anyone out there.”
Whereas Winslow is carrying on despite the lack of controversy, he isn’t happy about it.
“On a good day we get maybe three people emailing us with shit like, Tell the Ghetto Shaman to suck it! or What are you feeding the Crank, anyway? Frankly, we deserve a lot more scrutiny than that.”