Some Important Feedback from the Holy Land

Dear Daily Discord:

My name is Muhammad Al’ Hussein, Sharia High Cleric, Cleveland, Ohio.  Today I read your Zionist propaganda, Newly Discovered Seuss Manuscripts Are Troubling.  This is more than troubling! In fact, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your infidel armpits!  Dr. Seuss converted to Sharia, and his true name became Al Hamze Mohash Mahmood Al JeSeuss (under pain of death).  These books you list are forbidden under Sharia law.  They give Sharia childs bad thoughts, not unlike your American sitcoms.  Your Zionist Conspiracy ideas is why true believers hate the Great Satan (aka, parts of Akron).  Go to local Sharia Library and read Sharia-Approved Al Hamze Mohash Mahmood Al JeSeuss childs books:

Top Ten Sharia-Approved Dr. Al JeSeuss Books

  1. Mr. Brown can Mujahideen! (Can you?)
  2. The Lion in Zion
  3. Oh, The Places You Cannot Go!
  4. Horton Hatches a Jihad!
  5. Daisy Beheaded Mayzie
  6. There’s a Saudi in my Audi
  7. Shop with Pop (or a Thousand Lashes)
  8. The 500 Burkhas of Basheera Mohammad
  9. Rocks in Locks (The Complete Sharia Stoning Book: scratch and sniff edition)
  10. Sharia Mariah!  The Twatva I Should Fatwah!

These books are good Sharia books all written under close supervision of respected Sharia Clerics.  Dr. Seuss’ name became Al Hamze Mohash Mahmood Al JeSeuss after he insulted the prophet Muhammad in his Zionist book The Lorax.  I can assure you this Lorax does not speak for the trees, or the Suni’s, or the Shiites.  Let us never speak of him again, or may Allah rip out your spleen and feed it to a mountain goat.

This reminds me of a childhood game when one group of playmates would all circle around a second group and say, “Glory be to thee, Allah.”

To which the inner circle would perform the ablution and recite aqama in all its glory.

Then, amidst this inexplicable connection with the great mystery, we would stone the shit of our friends in the middle, such fun.  It brings me back, back to a very primitive emergency room.

And if you continue your Zionist reporting, don’t forget that Mr. Brown can Mujahideen!

Muhammad Al’ Hussein

High Cleric

International Sharia Law Allah Mosque (FAS: Fuck Akron Society)

Cleveland, OH

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.