White House Staffer Leaks The Actual Cognitive Test Administered To The President


Tweet Tower—Under the increased speculation that the president is unfit for office, the White House physician administered a cognitive assessment exam earlier this week. The physician, Patsy McPassfail, said the president performed “exceedingly well” on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment test. Today, however, an unknown staffer leaked the actual test the president received. The leaked assessment contained  mostly tailored questions that the president had already answered at one time or another in tweet form. The physician also failed to follow standard scoring practices, often awarding partial credit to the president for picking something ‘right next to’ the correct answer.

The test contained several multiple choice questions, such as: Who is president of the United States? and What is your favorite soda?

The test also included five True or False questions, such as: Rosie O’Donnell is a fat know-nothing, I often drink my favorite soda and McDonalds usually has a drive-thru window.

In one instance the president was even awarded ‘partial credit’ for the wrong answer. For the question: Which is a living animal? the president received 3 of the 6 points, because his choice, Choo-choo train, was right next to the correct choice, Turtle.

The physician is standing by the administration of this assessment and how it was graded. Dr. McPassfail told the Discord today, “The test was in full accord with the standards and practices of Trump University and the president himself approved both the tool and the grading system *cough* …by clapping an affirmative response while grunting.”




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