Camp Donald—The gift the Trump sons chose for their father on Christmas morning is turning into a scandal in and of itself. Minus the necessary permits, the two brothers entered the Yukon Territory before tracking, shooting and killing a Bumble, an animal the Canadian Government considers protected. Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau, is calling this an ‘act of gore’ and has mobilized the Canadian Mounties and the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen to monitor any and all Trump family movements along the U.S./Canadian border throughout the rest of the holiday season.

It is unclear whether this will open yet another area of investigation for the Mueller probe. Someone close to Special Counsel Robert Mueller said he told him, “I never should have taken this gig. I’m almost 75, I’m tired, my subpoena printer is almost out of ink, and I would rather spend the time I have left on this planet investigating my grandchildren.”

Others close to Mueller claim he’s plagued with the philosophical question: “Is Trump so dirty that he’s actually clean again?”  The Special Counsel apparently cries himself to sleep each night wondering if criminality is actually circular and Trump will somehow push through Plato’s ‘guilty’ and back into ‘innocent’.

In related historical Discord news, Rogue Elf Dentist Kills Popular Bumble.