Tweet Tower—A senior staffer claims President Trump is exploring the idea of setting up carbonite storage facilities along the U.S.-Mexico border to deal with the current immigration problems. In this way asylum seekers can be frozen and stored until such a time as another president from the future, who might actually give a shit, can thaw them for final processing. Mexico is believed to be intrigued by the idea as well, but is pushing to have the facilitates located on the U.S. side of the border.
Donald Trump tweeted, “I like the carbonite idea. Very futuristic. Stack ’em up! And we won’t have to separate families anymore, literally. They come in 12 packs! And a percentage won’t even survive the initial freezing process, so it’s getting cheaper already.”
The president is also floating the idea of having the storage facilities become part of the border wall itself. “We can stack them long ways so we won’t even need as many to complete the wall. Wouldn’t it be great if ICE could put people on ice? Disney paid a lot of money for that shit, and we’ll be doing it all gratis.”
Welcome to America. Land of the freeze?