Brussels, BE—The Brexit summit in Belgium arrived with a hefty side order of sarcasm today. The choice of dessert, a giant banana split, struck a negative chord with at least one member of the accord. Many believe the UK is making a historic blunder by brexiting the EU, so several dignitaries desperately attempted to stifle their laughter as the desserts made their way to the table. “No one is laughing,” said May sternly. “Except, of course, all you people laughing. But let me remind you this is no laughing matter. No really, I’ve been crying myself to sleep for weeks over this. Oh, and the duck was salty!” No duck was served at the event, so many believe this was a very clever pun.
The EU has signed onto the UK withdrawal agreement, so the only remaining hurdle lies within the UK Parliament. Theresa May has managed to strike a deal that has angered both the Remainers and Leavers alike. The deal leaves an economically weakened UK and, as part of the concessions, the UK itself must withdraw another 100km into the North Sea. May told reporters today, “I am not amused about the whole dessert thing. It was mostly whip cream with no ice cream. To quote the U.S. president, ‘Sad! Very sad!!'”
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