Trump Discovers Can In Oval Office With String That Leads Into Wall


Tweet Tower—President Trump announced the discovery of a very suspicious tin can with a string attached to it in the White House. The can, which the president believes is some type of listening device, was found on his desk in the Oval Office. Perhaps even more disturbing, a string connected to the can disappears into a nearby wall. Those closest to the president believe this incident has only stoked his paranoia. Many in the White House theorize there’s another cup at the end of that string, a cup that many believe rests at the very heart of the deep state.

President Trump said, “I spoke into the cup and no one answered, but I swear I heard breathing. Remember Deep Throat? This is Deep Breath. This string could lead to Mueller’s office, to Rosenstein’s, to Avenatti’s. Hell, it might even lead to Session’s office. This is proof-positive that people are illegally eavesdropping on me and my cabinet. Speaking of my cabinet, there’s a suspicious looking device in that bust of Kennedy. Oh, and the eyes on that George Washington painting kind of follow you around the room, creepy. But I have General Kelly buying up breakfast cereals so I can get a hold of a decoder ring. That will help decipher these shenanigans. Remember sea monkeys? Those were cool. I hope he gets me some sea monkeys too.”


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

  5 comments for “Trump Discovers Can In Oval Office With String That Leads Into Wall

  1. pokey
    September 26, 2018 at 7:03 AM

    I listened into that can and all I heard was Mitch McConnel’s voice: “We have never been and do not wish to be a society in which a single uncorroborated allegation can float out across decades, and wield veto power over somebody’s life.”

    On the same day, Ted Cruz and his wife while at a public restaurant were harassed by a mob of “RESISTORS.”

    Guilty by accusation and mob politics.
    THAT’S tyranny.
    It’s not too late Zano. Repent and be converted.

    • Mick Zano
      September 26, 2018 at 10:09 AM

      Ha! Get the F out of the restaurant. It’s too late. I have asked politely over the decades for republican party reform. Now it needs to just go away. How about those Wigs? Were they cool?

      • pokey
        September 28, 2018 at 8:23 AM

        But Zano, I am that person falsely accused–some hazy accusations echoed from a long ago period in my life, a time when I had set sail with the Ghetto Shaman’s tantric cruise on S.S. havoc; I am that person the mob expelled from the public square…

        • Mick Zano
          September 28, 2018 at 1:05 PM

          And rightly so, ha! No, elections matter, people should vote, not harass.

      • poeky
        September 28, 2018 at 8:24 AM

        “I get no respect.”

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