Desperate to Maintain Power Gaddafi Turns to Standup

Desperate to Maintain Power Gaddafi Turns to Standup

Tripoli, LY—In what many are calling a “sad” and “pathetic” maneuver, Muammar Gaddafi made numerous calls to comedians this week for one last ditch effort to quell the masses.  Gaddafi then broadcast a seventeen minute comedy act to the entire nation of Libya on Thursday.

“Not watching the performance was a capital offense,” said a resident of Benghazi, “which, may have squelched some of the initial enthusiasm.”

The despot’s plan was to create the perfect standup routine to win back the hearts and minds of his people.  Granted, it was a feat made more difficult by strafing his own people with military jets the day before, but if anyone could pull it off, it was him.

Gaddafi opened his act with “I shot a protestor in my pajamas this morning.  How he got my pajamas, I don’t know,” and, “Firing missiles into crowds of my own people may seem heavy-handed, well excuuuuuuuuse meeeee!” 

He then, apparently, channeled Rodney Dangerfield by adding, “I don’t get no respect.”

There was no joke before or after his statement, he just kept repeating it.

At one point, Gaddafi actually stopped the act and said, “Have you all failed to notice the arrow that seemingly passes through my head?”

“He died out there,” said a once loyal tribal leader.  “There were long awkward pauses where he thought people would be laughing.  Didn’t anyone tell him there was no live audience?  Of course, if there had been, we would have rushed the stage…but not in the way he would have liked.  If he had only done something with a pie to the face, now that would have been something.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.