Boston, MA—An ongoing Daily Discord investigation into the origins of some of our more, um, screwy celebrity icons has revealed a number of staggering results, but this discovery is truly shocking. Nicki Minaj, “musician” and American Idol judge, is the result of a bad attempt at reenacting the super model creation scene from the widely popular 1985 movie Weird Science.
Cokie McGrath, Daily Discord field reporter, explained, “In the movie, the lead characters attempt to create the perfect woman using massive computing power and a Barbie doll. The result was a gorgeous model with incredible intelligence and magical powers. This situation, however, was a tragic accident.”
Apparently a group of drunken MIT students, having just watched the movie for the 453rd time, decided to attempt the feat in their Boston dorm room, but they had limited access to dolls other than the blow up variety.
MIT Computer Science major Minimus Fallus added, “It was my little sister’s doll; she hasn’t gotten into Barbies yet. It was the best I could do. Sorry (sob), it’s like when Gary and Wyatt created that almighty missile at the end, a fiasco, and we didn’t have Lisa to clean up the mess.”
Confused and saddened, the students simply cut their creation loose in Compton Court on the MIT campus. “We didn’t know what else to do. She was a freak of science,” said, Fallus. “I can’t apologize enough, especially whenever I hear “Stupid Hoe” on the radio. Jesus, what have we done?!”