Tehran, Iran – Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is denying allegations his country is developing weapons of mass destruction.
“Iran is simply trying to counter the dangers of global warming with a nice nuclear winter,” explained Ahmadinejad.
The Iranian President hopes to both restore the delicate planetary balance to our shared ecosystem and, perhaps, even win himself the next Chernobyl Peace Prize.
When asked about being under the constant scrutiny of the global community, Ahmadinejad said, “I feel misunderstood, ostracized, and completely exhausted from torturing and killing all of those student protestors over the weekend. Next they’ll be saying our weaponized microbial ‘Death to the Great Satan Martyr’ project is for some nefarious purpose.”
The Iranian President is also insisting his new line of chemical weapons facilities are for humanitarian genocides only.
“Frankly, I’m sick of all the recent nuclear fallout from my targets—I mean critics,” said Ahmadinejad. “I meant critics, really.”