FoxTrots: Safe GOP Food-Delivery Service For Republican Diners

Have you ever been Cruzed or even Huckabeed when trying to enjoy a meal downtown? Do you have a Bush or Trump bumper sticker displayed prominently on your vehicle? Are you a known congressman or senator from The Grand Old Party? Do you put signs on your lawn with a distinctly conservative slant? Do you have a certain red hat in your closet? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, why suffer from public shaming and outright abuse? You too can crawl back into Hannity’s America and still enjoy menu items from hundreds of participating restaurants near you. Why not download our free food-delivery app, FoxTrots, and never have to face a disgruntled liberal snowflake ever again. It’s that easy! Let’s make America eat again.

Wow. It’s getting ugly out there, isn’t it? Whereas I don’t condone what’s happening to prominent Republicans in public places, I am not going to apologize for people fed up with Republican lies. For decades I have covered the ascent of Fox News and it’s eventual link to the descent of our nation. My fears are coming to fruition. I personally would rather vote than harass and The Discord is a Safe Space for my ventings and rantings. So maybe try blogging, or foam bricks to throw at the tele. Let’s be careful out there.

Oh, and lookout for our new voter app that’s coming soon. By the midterms a ballot-delivery system will be in place for registered Republicans only. Just check the box from the comfort of your own home and we’ll do the rest. Honest. Really. It will be counted and it’s all legal, well legal-ish. We’re calling it an “absent-me” ballot.


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