Palestinian Authority President, Mahmoud Abbas, shocked the world by announcing he will not seek reelection. During a meeting on November 6th, Abbas suddenly broke into the famous Groucho Marx song, “Hello, I must be going…” 

When asked why the Palestinian leader was bowing out, he said, “My name is too much like the pop band Abba.  It’s becoming an unnecessary distraction.”

He went on to say how he wanted the people of Palestine to get back to the people’s business, “You know, huddling in fear and lobbing random mortars toward Israel.” 

When asked about the toughest part of his job, he said, “Well, following a creep like Arafat was tough.  His name came with much less baggage.  Sure he was fat and fat was in his name, but at least people didn’t call him ‘The Dancing Queen.’”