Mahmoud Abbas Vows to Rid Palestine of Himself

Mahmoud Abbas Vows to Rid Palestine of Himself

Palestinian Authority President, Mahmoud Abbas, shocked the world by announcing he will not seek reelection. During a meeting on November 6th, Abbas suddenly broke into the famous Groucho Marx song, “Hello, I must be going…” 

When asked why the Palestinian leader was bowing out, he said, “My name is too much like the pop band Abba.  It’s becoming an unnecessary distraction.”

He went on to say how he wanted the people of Palestine to get back to the people’s business, “You know, huddling in fear and lobbing random mortars toward Israel.” 

When asked about the toughest part of his job, he said, “Well, following a creep like Arafat was tough.  His name came with much less baggage.  Sure he was fat and fat was in his name, but at least people didn’t call him ‘The Dancing Queen.’”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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