The GOP Should Consider Shifting Four Amendments Over: From Freedom Of Speech To Your Right To Remain Silent

After another vigorous yet inconclusive volley with my old blogvesary, I realized what a long, strange blogging trip it’s been. I disapprove of what you say, my friend, but I will defend to the death your right to blog it …well, after I take out the stupid parts and add some jokes. Ha! Republicans invariably think liberals are ignoring the facts, when in reality facts are simply not their thing. Nothing Hannity or Limbaugh covered last night was even mentioned by the lamestream media! Amen. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with each accusation that arrives at the speed of right. Fast & Spurious? Uranium None?

My blogversary, Pokey McDooris, remains transfixed on the cultural malaise sweeping the planet. This is a very real phenomenon and the factors for this are endless and bipartisan. Andrew Sullivan’s recent article nailed it. Whereas politically Dems have mustered a few good points over the years, our Republican friends remain just a few good points away from having a few good points. This is especially true when their conspiracy theories turn out to be approximately 70% rubbish (Benghazi, Uranium One, Fast & Furious), 20% truthiness/bipartisan procedural (Who funded the Dossier, FBI wrongdoing, Susan Rice unmasking) and 10% totally true, but only minimally disturbing (Hillary’s three classified email faux pas).

What?! She used an unprotected server and mishandled classified emails, Zano!

Look, Colin Powell had the same server set up, which also supports my theory:

Every bad poltical practice begins with a Republican.

Keep in mind, while Melanie was still picking out the curtains, our president invited Russian spies into the oval office and revealed classified information. So Trump managed to trump Hillary’s worst transgressions, not amidst four decades of service, but during a Gilligan’s Island three hour F-ing tour. And, amidst all of Trump’s nepotistic oligarching (which is a verb), his entire family continued to use unprotected devices for some time. iPhoney? Face it, you really don’t give a shit about classified information, do you? Or, as my theory asserts, you’ve simply lost all perspective on our political reality. Stop agreeing with fools, Pokey, you are smarter than this. On a good day you’re even smarter than me. If you recall, we only found out about Hillary’s egregious Colin Powell-level transgressions (CPLT) during the seventh Benghazi hearing. Hyper-unfocused?

Hint of the Day: Why investigate Colin Powell’s email transgressions when he and his bosses should be shot for their part in the invasion of Iraq?

If you could keep score, which you apparently cannot, Powell’s misdeeds rated a whopping eight on the Richter Scale and Hillary’s affronts are a whopping 0.8 (a 0.8 that should technically be added to Powell’s score). Remember decimals? I only ask because of your ability to misinterpret world events at lightening speed …Mathamphetamine?

We used to agree on stuff, like what pub, what party, what girl he better keep his grubby hands off of. Ha! Fast-forward to 2018 and my only interest in any Republican opinion is as a necessary check mark. So they don’t agree with me? Check. How do we get them to realize the points they were trying to make last week, last month, and last year all turned out be less than relevant?

This is a wonderful chart, stolen without permission from MediaBiasChart, that points to the crux the problem:

This chart is perhaps the biggest reason your right-leaning friends seem to have lost all perspective. Over the years our slanted media has proven to be our biggest O’Reilly Factor. It continues to skew our worldview, left and right. Sadly, the left is trying to match the right’s journalistic indiscretion, but at least for the moment most are hanging onto the basics. Half our country will focus on a NYT retraction, never realizing how their own news source is probably one giant retraction—who, incidentally, never makes retractions. To my mind, this chart is very accurate and strangely validating. Even though I complain about MSNBC, The Discord is probably only slightly north of them ideologically. And I am not a journalist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Pokey’s plots and points are generally hatched in that lower right quadrant, which is why next to none of these ‘scandals’ stand the test of Times. Sorry.

Upon hitting the archives, I found a couple of dalliances into the second lowest quadrant. One time I referenced the Daily Kos (an article on Hillary Clinton) and three passing references to the Huffington Pissed. Meanwhile, the right side lives almost entirely in those Orange and Red rectangles, somewhere between Fox News and InfoDrivel, or ‘Nonsense damaging to the public discourse.’ This is precisely why the age of meaningful conversations has ended. This, in part, is what led an Oxford professor to conclude:

“They (Trump supporters) are playing with different facts, and they think they have the inside scoop on conspiracies … It appears a small chunk of the population isn’t able to talk politics or share ideas in a sensible way with the rest of the population.”
—Phillip Howard

The Discord has never quoted anything from the left-red quadrant, ever, but the right gets constant solace and sustenance from the Breitbart-lands. In fact, a few months ago the dude was sitting in the White House. Even my blogvesary, a once moderate voice, has sniffed the Glenn Beck chalk powder and now resides amidst the AM radio ethos. You can climb out of that unfocused group anytime now Poke.

One way to help prove this point is by reviewing what Republican contributors were all fired up about six months ago, or even a year ago. Unfortunately, zenwrongness seems to have a half-life longer than Uranium One. Looking back six months or even a year into our archives revealed the same faulty themes and assumptions. Republican hindsight is 20/200. Yes, my blogversary was rambling on about Benghazi and unmasking *sigh*. So what if we go back to the beginning? It might be old news, but that’s the point, their nonsense was never news in the first place, because they reside in a fact-free wasteland of their own creation.

The first of my features in the Discord archives is Restore Habeas Corpus: Then Explain It to Me and my blogversary’s is: Crying In The Grocery Store Coffee Shop. My article is a protest of Bush’s expansion of power that resulted in an American citizen, Jose Padilla, being picked up in the middle night, brought to a secret location, and tortured to the point of permanent mental illness. No lawyer, no phone call, no rights. A guy from Brooklyn, who we later found out had little to do with any terrorist cell but his emotional wellbeing is permanently damaged. Pokey denied this was occurring at the time. Now, fast-forward a few years from this post and Obama admits his predecessor, “Tortured some folks.”

Meanwhile, Pokey’s earliest article from our way-back machine can be summarized as: 1. How dare you try to expand health insurance for all Americans? and 2. How dare you infringe on my right to infringe on other people’s rights based on religious prejudices? Actually, there is an argument for opting out of an emergency room tax, but then you don’t get to use the ER unless you or a loved one brings the cash. Good luck with that. For his second point, there is an argument to be made that the business owner has the right to serve who they wish, but, again, if these are your biggest concerns amidst the Earth’s sixth mass extinction *cough*, let’s stick with your strengths. Fat Burning To Benghazi!

For those gluttons for punishment among us, here are the links to those two early Discord features:

Restore Habeas Corpus: Then Explain It to Me , and Pokey’s Crying In The Grocery Store Coffee Shop.

[Winslow: How about the one that started it all, No Biden Bounce, Democrats Opt for Conjoined Ticket? Now there’s some political insight.]

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

  12 comments for “The GOP Should Consider Shifting Four Amendments Over: From Freedom Of Speech To Your Right To Remain Silent

  1. pokey
    March 11, 2018 at 6:06 PM

    Facts and context is what your articles consistently lack. This quadrant that quadrant, yacketty yacketty yack. Give me some context backed by the facts. I’ll start with the 10% that you acknowledge to be “totally truth”–3 clearly classified emails. They are more than minimally disturbing when taken in the context of the Bengazi investigation and the 30,000 plus purposefully deleted (this is a fact too, right Zano) emails after they had been subpoenaed.

    Another fact that is relevant to this issue–there is evidence that Hillary Clinton’s campaign illegally conspired with the DNC to undermine Bernie Sanders. Is this a fact?

    Now the context–those same people who exonerated Hillary Clinton are now investigating her political adversary. What’s more, evidence suggests, and I’m fairly confident that an investigation would reveal that just like the DNC and Hillary Clinton colluded to defeat Bernie, they also colluded with the Obama administration, high level Dept. of Justice, and high ranking FBI to defeat and derail Trump.

    Instead of focusing on defeating Trump on the issues, The Democrats are stuck in trying to invalidate his election. Maybe it will work, but unless you can show me conspiracy with the Russians I’m rooting for my man Trump. I’ve watched him repeatedly pull off the impossible in his single handed defeat of the entire Republican establishment. I watched him defeat the Clinton machine and the dnc along with a covertly politicized Obama DOJ, all colluding with high level FBI, CIA and major media–leaking confidential information harmful to our national security for the sole purpose of embarrassing The Don. But he’s still standing stronger than he’s ever been, picking up the…

    Now there’s a possibility for him to again pull off the impossible–he may actually get North Korea to give up their nuclear ambitions. And I can feel the democrats bitter over this possibility. Tell me the truth; deep down you want North Korea to progress with its nuclear program, because you, like the mainstream media and the DNC would rather see Trump fail (RESIST) than for our nation to succeed in its security.

    • Mick Zano
      March 11, 2018 at 6:38 PM

      You’re right, if Hillary illegally deleted all those emails, she should be pulled from office. Hmmm. Again, wrongful invasion of iraq = interesting, anyone’s illegal use of a private server = not so much. I know it’s all you got, but if you had access to the news, you’d realize the libs beat that shit in the last news cycle.

      Did you read that chart? You should be forced to memorize that thing but it might infringe on your constitutional right not to learn stuff. Oh, and so you’re finally focusing on the one point I suggested (Bernie’s defeat at the hands of the DNC), bravo! Progress not progressivism.

      And I am not bitter about Trump’s talks with NK, where did I say that? It’s a historic moment, but if it even happens (which is still 60/40 against), it will probably be squandered as we pitted crazy/smart vs crazy/dumb. And you only get two guesses who you voted for… But, if our president can educate himself on our agenda before he goes and … Ha, ha, ha, oh that’s right you’re side is Terminally Bibliographically Incurious (TBI). But I do realize the only person who could make this NK thing happen is the least likely candidate for the job. Coincidence? Ancient Alien theorists say yes. In fact, I agree with Bill Maher on this one. Your only valid points are rarely against me, Teflon Zano? Whereas I can conflate your beliefs with the average republican, generally it’s a bad idea if you try this on me. That’s another main premise of mine, they’re still smart liberals in the world, but where exactly is the last of the republican intelligentsia? Is it just you now? According to Three Dog Night, One is the Loneliest Number.

      • Mick Zano
        March 11, 2018 at 7:02 PM

        Let me put it this way, if you’re right and Hillary’s actions are waaaay beyond Colin Powell’s evilness-which we never bothered to investigate and hopefully never will-the overall scandal score in the 21st century is likely in the range of 10 to 1000, against. There’s a bit of a discrepancy there, not wholly perceptible to the untrained eye. Ninety percent of your scandal info is garbage, and if it were all true you would still be losing. If this were darts, your team threw… oh, I give up. I am going to throw three darts, right now, collusion, money laundering, and obstruction. I will likely hit two out of three MINIMUM and, as Meal Loaf would attest, that’s not bad.

        • pokey
          March 12, 2018 at 8:37 AM

          Let’s integrate our whole discussion. It’s not 60/40 against, but nearly impossible for the U.S to convince North Korea to give up its nuclear program. That would require us to convince Kim Jun Un that he would be punished for pursuing the program and rewarded for giving up the program. So who was the last evil dictator that the U.S. persuaded to give up their nuclear program? Oh yeah, that was a man by the name of Gaddafi. And of course we rewarded him for acting in a way that so benefited our national security, right? Wrong, our nation under the Obama/Clinton leadership showed North Korea the consequences of showing such weakness as giving up their nuclear program. “We came. we saw, He died. Ha Ha Ha.” (Hillary Clinton) How did Gaddafi’s death AFTER he gave up his nukes benefit our national security? If not for our national security, then why pursue his overthrow? The answer to that question lie in the ruins of Benghazi and the 30,000 deleted emails from Clinton white-washed server.

          You don’t mention those purposefully deleted emails very often in your “conspiracy theory/fake scandal rhetoric.”

          I know that you never said you were bitter about the talks with North Korea–but I do recall you supporting the RESIST movements, whose base of support seems to be rooting against any possible Trump success. I admit that I haven’t heard you ranting the RESIST rhetoric lately. Perhaps you have let it go. Bravo.

          • Mick Zano
            March 12, 2018 at 10:07 AM

            I have explained each Trump scenario and why short term gains at the expense of our poor, our middle class and our environment is not a good thing. This is about mitigating the long term damage. Nothing good can come from a republican presidency in the 21st century, well, if history is any judge. There will be no “veneration of ignorance” on my watch. RESIST.

            • pokey
              March 12, 2018 at 2:16 PM

              Some people are inspired by your call to “RESIST” by releasing classified information that is embarrassing to the President yet harmful to our national security.

              “Nothing good could come from a Republican presidency in the 21st century.” If North Korea would de-nuclearize that would prove your statement wrong. (there’s where my suspicion lies).

              Your absent comment on the 30,000 purposefully deleted emails and the motives for the overthrow of Gadaffi (The only dictator to ever drop its established nuclear program)

      • pokey
        March 12, 2018 at 3:27 PM

        Is it a coincidence that the only wrongdoing that you recognize that DNC/Hillary perpetrated was against a person you supported in Bernie Sanders? Obama administration colludes with IRS to target conservatives–well, Zano doesn’t like conservatives, so there’s no scandal. Obama/Hillary overthrow Gadaffi without congressional approval and deletes 30,000 “personal Yoga” emails to cover up–that’s perfectly reasonable according to Zano.

        Is it possible that the DNC/Hillary rigging of the primaries is actually just the tip of the iceberg–and that your bias (and the media’s bias) has created a blindspot in your political vision?

        • Mick Zano
          March 12, 2018 at 7:53 PM

          I might have a blind spot, but you have a blind universe, ha!

          • pokey
            March 14, 2018 at 8:11 AM

            A blind “Mind’s Eye”

            • Mick Zano
              March 14, 2018 at 10:22 AM

              more like, crazy like a Fox News

              • pokey
                March 15, 2018 at 8:13 AM

                Whine On You Crazy Blind Friend

  2. pokey
    March 15, 2018 at 3:18 PM

    Whine On My Crazy Blind Friend

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