Philadelphia, PA—As CEO of the Daily Discord, I usually do an apology for the horrible things our bad journalism typically unleashes on our fair communities. Instead, I would rather thank the country of N/A for consistently being first or second on our geographic visitor listing. Also of interest, we had 953 page views from the Netherlands yesterday, which even beat the country of N/A. But, alas, it turned out to be just one guy from Copenhagen with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. We also got one hit last week from the key search word “bestiality” (no shit), which is really a milestone for us here at the Discord, although we’re not exactly sure why. Regardless, welcome to the fold, sick fuck!
We would also like a big shout out to our seven friends in Iran, who are watching the goings on of our little website a little too closely. Heh, heh. That was nervous laughter, if you were wondering. If you actually are tuning in from Iran (somehow) and are in no way affiliated with the tyrannical regime in power, might we suggest asking a question of our Ghetto Shaman. He will, of course, set right to work ignoring it. Your chance of being beheaded is, like, what for such an affront to Allah? Really, what is it? Inquiring minds want to know. Maybe that could be your question to the Ghetto Shaman. Just do it! When has he ever steered our readers wrong?