Post Mega-Merger Disney Announces New Fox Themed Rollercoaster: Bullshit Mountain

Anaheim, CA—The Walt Disney Company has merged with 20th Century Fox, finally laying to rest the debate as to whether or not Fox News is a Mickey Mouse organization. Yes, Rupert Murdoch, a previous hold out on the deal, is agreeable to join the fun provided he can keep making the ghost of Joseph Goebbles proud of his ‘news’ channel. Disney now owns most cartoons, superheroes, super villains, cartoon superheroes, Jedis, and super-villain Jedis—not to mention, Troy McClure, who you may know from such films as *cough* all of them. If you listen really closely you can hear Universal Studios taking a dump, which hopefully they can work into their own amusement park ride someday soon. Does this represent a giant Disney upgrade? Does a bear shit in the woods? Apparently not if it’s animated, CGI, blue screen, green screen or Chroma key, as all of those FX techniques now come with copyright infringements and steep fines.

Many are concerned the mega-merger between Disney and Fox has already taken a turn for the worse after the announcement of plans to build the roller-coaster: ‘Bullshit Mountain.’ The over 7,000 feet of track takes passengers through a twisted dark reality wherein Fox talking points are repeated loudly and often for everyone’s enjoyment. The park claims that preliminary trials are promising as fights, in the gift-shop-exit, between the target audience and decidedly browner skinned patrons, are up over 600%. Oh, and don’t forget to stop at the refreshment stand on the way out for some Pizzagate and Whitewater.

Other proposed Disney rides with a Fox flare include The Pirates of Benghazi, Jurassic Jesus corral, White Water Supremacy, and an Immigrant Rising skeet shooting competition. Disney does regret to inform its patrons that the opening of Fox’s Inepticot Center is delayed yet again due to ongoing infrastructural concerns.

Disney Fox is also in the planning stages for a merger with galaxy M209143, one that insiders claim, “Won’t end well for galaxy M209143.”

 

*No, we’re not paying royalties to Jon Stewart. Quitter! And Murdoch hasn’t really joined in …yet.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

  2 comments for “Post Mega-Merger Disney Announces New Fox Themed Rollercoaster: Bullshit Mountain

  1. pokey
    April 8, 2019 at 8:39 AM

    CNN promotes vacation cruises to Collusion Island, where Leftists are able to live in a world where Trump has been impeached and Hillary Clinton is the President. Collusion Island shelters vacationers from all uncomfortable facts relating to the wrongdoings of McCabe, Comey, Strzok, Page, Ohr, and Brennan. At Collusion Island , gag orders are
    continued to be in effect for Papadopolous, and Carter Page is eternally banned from speaking.

    There’s excessive sand available for vacationers can stick their heads.

    • Mick Zano
      April 8, 2019 at 1:57 PM

      Nice. this needs worked into a spoof news piece, ha.

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