Crying in the Grocery Store Coffee Shop

Pokey McDooris

Ah, how I’ve missed Mick Zano’s overreaching, unfocused, condescending, and logical-less debates. From marijuana legalization to global warming to George Bush tyranny to GOP numbskulls, Zano pulled no punches to “dismantle my arguments.” Now, what were my arguments again? Since I never mentioned marijuana or global warming or George Bush or the GOP, let’s hope he posted his last article from Colorado, otherwise I’m afraid you’re going to have to pee into this cup.

From my last post, I expressed four main claims: 1) I have a God-given constitutional right to take responsibility for my own personal healthcare without being forced by law to purchase private or government insurance. 2) It is unconstitutional to force a person or business to directly violate their conscience. (ie. provide birth control to employers and to bake wedding cakes for gay marriages) 3) The executive branch of our federal government continues to exceed its constitutional limits, as the federal government grows in power and scope our individual liberties shrink. 4) The Pope does not support the ordination of gay, polygamous, transvestite, shit goblin priests.

Let’s take a finer look at point number 1: my right to refuse health care. For the last 18 years of my life I have chosen not to purchase health care, not because my employer didn’t offer it (he/she/it did), not because I couldn’t afford it (I could). In my opinion, health insurance actually makes people sick. I know that this sounds strange–but if you really think about it, to purchase health insurance is to gamble money on the prediction that in the future you will get sick. If you don’t need a doctor, or medicine, or hospital treatment, you lose the bet and lose the money. So people subconsciously make themselves sick, so that they can win the bet–hurrah, I’ve got another appointment with the doctor who always pays special attention to me; hurrah, I’m prescribed another pill that makes me feel so good; yeah, I’ve got another brain tumor that makes me forget all of my responsibilities.

Conversely, I’ve bet my whole life on my health and vitality, and coincidently as an adult, I’ve never been to a doctor (except for a pre-employment physical), I’ve never taken prescription medicine (except that given to me be the Ghetto Shaman), and I’ve never used a sick d–Ah …UHHH…Oh… MunamamunamaMuata……..pardon me, just had a bit of a stroke; happens all the time. I’ll be okay, I can type one-handed. Now where was I; oh yeah, and I’ve never even been to the Emergency room (except when I’ve been taken against my will–after a Ghetto Shaman retreat).

And what’s Zano’s refutation? “I don’t care.” Oh, well that settles it. Mick doesn’t care that starting this month, my God-given rights will be violated by the federal government that he has endorsed. This doesn’t bother Zano, because it’s a “small cost.” Zano, this is not an issue of quantity; it’s an issue of principle. If you want healthcare, then get it; but when you coerce me, or force me, or penalize me, then you have stepped over the threshold of ‘liberty and into a wasteland of totalitarianism that forces everybody to be a part of it–”one of us, one of us, one of us.” If you want to charge me for optional ER visits, I’ve got no argument, but you have no right to force me to submit to the modern healthcare ‘paradigm.’

Let’s take a look at number 2–it is unconstitutional to force a person or business to directly violate their conscience. And Zano’s refutation–a quote from the President of Family Planning saying “Religious groups have been exempt from the birth control benefit all along, and they still are. This is a case about paperwork, not religious liberty.” Oh, well that settles it. But what about Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood Company? Both companies assert their desire to operate in the business arena while maintaining their biblical principles. Under the Affordable Care Act (the Bill formally known as Obama Care) financial penalties of up to $100 per day, per employee can be levied on firms that refuse to provide comprehensive health coverage. Under the changes to ACA churches and houses of worship are exempt from the contraceptive mandate, but private run corporations are not. Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood Company are currently spending big money to defend their right ‘not’ to provide the day-after-pill to its employees.

The question is, will the Supreme Court say that Americans have religious freedom to live and do business according to their faith? And how about the Colorado cake makers who refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay marriage? The judge ordered the cake makers to “cease and desist from discriminating” against gay couples. It’s unconstitutional to force someone to directly participate in an activity that violates their conscience. So if Mick Zano and Dave Atsals decide to get married, they have no right to coerce me into baking them a double-groomed wedding cake. They have no right to force me to provide them with condoms; I won’t do it. And don’t even think about having me knit those cat woman pajamas for the wedding night–I don’t care what it costs me, won’t do it, man! I will admit they’re cute, though.

That brings me to point 3–as the federal government grows in power and scope, our individual liberties shrink. The 1st step in ‘de-moralizing’ a people is to coerce, threaten, or force them to violate their conscience. That’s what totalitarianism does; it forces people to compromise their conscience. Oh sure, Mick Zano acknowledges that this administration needs to be ‘reeled in,’ but what has he done about it. Every person or organization that opposes the Obama administration’s mad grab for power, Zano has demonized, ridiculed, and flippantly dismissed. The seeds of totalitarianism always begin with small principled infringements upon individual liberties; but once a conscience has been compromised, it becomes increasingly malleable to totalitarian manipulation, until, like Zano, they “don’t care” that people are being forced to violate their conscience, they “don’t care” that their government job requires them to gather information on their fellow citizens, they “don’t care” that they’re now taking people off to a secret prison; they “don’t care” that they’re now sharpening guillotines; they “don’t care” that they’re required to file paperwork at concentration camps.

This brings me to point 4–If Zano and Atsals want a gay, polygamous, transexual, shit goblin priest at their wedding, then don’t think about forcing the Catholic Church to oversee it. For goodness sake, man, go the Episcopalians. But I’m almost done with those cat pajamas.

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Pokey McDooris

Pokey McDooris

Pokey is The Discord's chief theologian and philosopher. Pokey performs an important function here at The Discord, namely by annoying the living shit out of Zano, whenever he submits something.