Tweet Tower—Vice President Mike Pence told the press today, “Now that we drained the swamp, we were able to dig a multi-level bog bungalo. It was initially Bannon’s idea, so technically it’s a Bannon bog bungalo. I just wish he was still here to wallow in it. There are nine concentric circles underground, but since each level is a swamp, the engineering proved challenging. The finished product is really, uh, swampy.”
The White House believes that once Trump fills all of his cabinet positions there will be plenty of room for all of them to really “swamp it up down there” and the architect of the boggy bunker is an actual descendant of Dante, of Dante’s Inferno fame.
President Trump said, “I thought it was that kid, Dante, from the movie Clerks, but since he seemed to know what he was doing we just ran with it. It’s nice, lots of stagnant water. I have a fish tank and I really think everyone I’ve appointed will really thrive in this dark, slimy environment #LichenIt. McConnell even looks like a turtle, so he can visit whenever he wants. We’ll leave some lettuce out for him.”
In related news: Swamp Thing’s Appointment To Head Homeland Security Deemed A Direct Contradiction Of Related Campaign Promise.