Small Closed Casket Ceremony Held For Kavanaugh Confirmation

Washington—Judge Brett Kavanaugh was sworn into the U.S. Supreme Court today by a narrow 50-48 Senate vote. Kavanaugh becomes the country’s 114th Supreme Court justice, but only the 2nd known sex offender to sit on the highest court in the land. President Trump now has two successful supreme court appointments. Las Vegas had +115 odds for Kavanaugh’s confirmation. He therefore had about the same odds as the likelihood of a Trump impeachment during his first term. Oh, and Vegas is tallying the odds right now for a potential Gorsuch #MeToo moment. Put me down for a Jackson! Mr. Winslow, can you spot me a twenty?

Trump said, “I am very, very, very happy that he’s with me on the Mueller matter. I agreed to overlook the whole Bushy ‘Torturing for Jesus’ thing, if he swore his loyalty to me. You know, kiss the ring stuff. I’m loving it! Is that trademarked by McDonald’s? I’d like to use that. Just use it, I have a clown-to-clown backchannel.”


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  3 comments for “Small Closed Casket Ceremony Held For Kavanaugh Confirmation

  1. pokey
    October 7, 2018 at 4:39 PM

    So an accusation (with no evidence) equals knowledge? Does that make Kavanaugh a known serial gang rapist? Is Bill Clinton a known sex offender? Is Keith Ellison a known abuser of women? I don’t have knowledge that any of these men are guilty of the crimes they have been accused of. Perhaps an investigation is warranted. Oh yeah, we did have an investigation in the case of Kavanaugh, and he came up squeaky clean.The worst thing found were 3 flimsy stories (that make absolutely no sense) from 35 years ago with no evidence to support any of the accusations. No evidence whatsoever. But for Zano, any political adversary is “known” to be guilty of whatever his party says–with or without evidence.

  2. Pierce Winslow
    Pierce Winslow
    October 8, 2018 at 12:36 PM

    It’s easy to come out squeaky clean when you don’t do an actual investigation. If Kavanaugh were really so squeaky clean, then why didn’t he and the Republicans want an FBI investigation? A real one, not that artificially short and narrow one (they seem to like short and narrow things) that didn’t even involve the actual claimants, and couldn’t even find a lie in a Trump speech. Why did Mitch McConnell move up of the confirmation vote the instant he heard of the allegations? Why are they trying to subvert the process? They had, literally, 25 other candidates that were all vetted and ready to go. Why not just pick another one? It’s obvious that the Republicans are more concerned with their “win” than getting the right guy in the seat. I wonder if Kavanaugh’s predisposition to excusing sitting presidents has anything to do with it.

    Evidence and guilt notwithstanding, this whole circus showed that Kavanaugh is not a suitable candidate for the Supreme Court. His pre-prepared statement, which came off more like a hysterical rant, showed his obvious partisan bias and lack of the proper demeanor for a Supreme Court Justice. Under oath, he, at least, mischaracterized his drinking and actions, and at most, perjured all over himself. Either way, whining like a schoolgirl and jumping up and down like Tom Cruise (in a prepared statement, prepared, not improv) are not things that a judge, let alone a Supreme Court Justice, should be doing on the stand.

    • pokey
      October 9, 2018 at 8:16 AM

      I know; I know. Every single time the Democratic party orchestrates a campaign that characterizes him as a serial gang rapist, he blows a fuse.

      Dr. Ford, Swetnik, and the other accuser all lied; the democrats promoted these lies, exploiting the issue of sexual assault for political purposes.

      As far a Kavanaugh being a Supreme Court Justice–there are many others I would have preferred, but after all of the slanders of character assassination inflicted by the Democrats–and still not one shred of evidence–at this point o vote against Kavanaugh would be validate the Dems false accusations. To vote against Kavanaugh is to reinforce the Democrats tactics of slander, exploitation of sexual assault, and the incitement of mob violence to promote their political agenda.
      No thank you.

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