Local News Station Broadcasting Yule Log 75 Days Early To Avoid Incessant Kavanaugh Coverage

SpringfieldLocal news station KPRC of Springfield reports being “really done with the whole Kavanaugh thing.” In lieu of the ongoing and continuous coverage of the arduous Supreme Court nomination process, the Channel 2 news team has opted to spread some Christmas cheer a little early. The CEO of KPRC said, “No one wants to hear another word about Brett Kavanaugh’s past, but everyone loves Christmas. So I was like, just cut to that holiday fireplace thingie.”

In related news: a 75th woman has filed harassment charges against news anchor Kent Brockman. Kent now has the distinction of pulling into third place for Springfield’s #MeToo highest accusation awards. Brockman is still trailing Reverend Lovejoy with 83 filed claims and actor Troy McClure with 2,891.

Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such allegations as Cops & Rubbers and Some Like It Not. Don’t worry fans, my new attorney, Lionel Hutz, is 100% certain that I’ll beat all these charges on existing stand-your-loin laws.

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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