Springfield—Local news station KPRC of Springfield reports being “really done with the whole Kavanaugh thing.” In lieu of the ongoing and continuous coverage of the arduous Supreme Court nomination process, the Channel 2 news team has opted to spread some Christmas cheer a little early. The CEO of KPRC said, “No one wants to hear another word about Brett Kavanaugh’s past, but everyone loves Christmas. So I was like, just cut to that holiday fireplace thingie.”
In related news: a 75th woman has filed harassment charges against news anchor Kent Brockman. Kent now has the distinction of pulling into third place for Springfield’s #MeToo highest accusation awards. Brockman is still trailing Reverend Lovejoy with 83 filed claims and actor Troy McClure with 2,891.
Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such allegations as Cops & Rubbers and Some Like It Not. Don’t worry fans, my new attorney, Lionel Hutz, is 100% certain that I’ll beat all these charges on existing stand-your-loin laws.