North Pole Packs Up, Moves to the Far East: Discord Discovers Cause!

L. Wolfe

The Earth’s North Magnetic Pole has been guiding navigation for well over a thousand years. Some of the earliest known maps depicting the approximate location of the Earth’s northern pole placed it just off modern day Murmansk. Not to be confused with singer/actress Ethel Mermansk. The exact location of the pole was first discovered by James Clark Ross in 1831 at Cape Adelaide on the Boothia Peninsula in Northern Canada (while playing hockey naked).

Part of the Carta Marina of 1539 by Olaus Magnus, depicting the location of magnetic north vaguely conceived as "Insula Magnetu[m]" (Latin for "Island of Magnets") off modern day Murmansk. The man holding the rune staffs is the Norse hero Starkad.
Part of the Carta Marina of 1539 by Olaus Magnus, depicting the location of magnetic north vaguely conceived as "Insula Magnetu[m]" (Latin for "Island of Magnets") off modern day Murmansk. The man holding the rune staffs is the Norse hero Starkad. Source: Wikipedia.com.
Location of modern day Mermansk.
Location of modern day Mermansk. Source: Wikipedia.com.

Magnetic North, as you probably know, has never been equivalent to the rotational North Pole.  In 1539 magnetic north was located in Mermansk, which is in Northern Russia, and in 1831 it was located in Northern Canada.  You may be asking, what the heck is going on here? Or just: “You idiots at The Daily Discord are geologically challenged!” Well, wait just a darn minute.  It’s geography, not geology for starters…and since its discovery in 1831, there have been several expeditions to verify its location. The most recent continual measurements were conducted by the Canadian government, who may or may not have been playing hockey naked (hint: you should never combine ice skate blades with an unbridled Zamboni).

Those expeditions and measurements have found that the Earth’s North Magnetic Pole is moving, and fast.  So fast, in fact, that in the 20th Century alone it moved over 1,000 kilometers (~700 miles).  That’s about as far as Kevin Smith can fly with Southwest Airline, before being booted off his connecting flight.  Recent measurements confirm that our magnetic pole’s rate of movement is actually accelerating at an alarming rate. Does the Earth’s magnetism have anything to do with the engineers at Toyota?  Such an absurd notion may be closer than you think…

In 1970, the rate of movement of the magnetic north pole was 9 km/yr (~5 miles/yr).  Between 2001 and 2003, its average rate of movement was over 41 km/year (~25 miles/year)! No one seems to have any explanation for this anomaly….until now.  No, I’m not talking about the Ghetto Shaman’s Mayan ancestors swooping in from the center of the galaxy. The skilled scientists here at The Daily Discord do have a viable explanation. It’s a historical fact that magnetic north, when initially discovered, was located in the Eastern Hemisphere within the Arctic Circle.  Since that time, it has been slowly moving westward.  Why?  Simple: ferrous metal (not to be confused with hard rock playing weaselly rodents).

The highest concentrations of human society were located in the Eastern Hemisphere when magnetic north was first discovered.  Subsequently, the Industrial Revolution in England and Europe from the 1600s through the 1900s resulted in large quantities of ferrous metal that ultimately skewed the location of magnetic North (this time, quite by coincidence, I am talking about hard rock playing weaselly rodents). Since magnetic North wasn’t exactly located until 1831, there was no hard data available to support that indication.

Position of magnetic north pole by year
Source: Wikipedia.com

Fast forward into the early 1900s. Not too fast—I was drinking last night.  In the 1900s development in the U.S. was growing at a rapid rate.  By the mid 1900s, the large amount of ferrous metals, then concentrated in the U.S., had been “pulling” magnetic North into the Western Hemisphere.

In the past several decades, China has been growing out of control. The large and increasing concentration of ferrous metals in China are now rapidly “pulling” magnetic North further westward, beyond the influence of the U.S. and its corporate lobbyists.

What’s next, you ask?  By the year 2030, all compasses on Earth will point to Beijing.  You can bet on it. And my second prediction: all blogs will be pointing toward The Discord. 

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