Jedi Cheerleaders Perfecting The Social Distancing Pyramid

Tython—By all Wookiepedia accounts, the Jedi homeworld is way ahead of the galactic curve in preparing for the return of football this coming fall. Mastering social distance cheerleading is a small, but critical step in the return to football normalcy—a normalcy hinged on the existence of the force, a cosmic power that binds all matter to allow for the perfecting of an important form of telekinetic, motivational gymnastics.

Georgia’s Governor Brian Kemp offered his disapproval today of the Jedi’s efforts, “First cheerleaders won’t touch each other and then we can’t touch the cheerleaders. It’s a slippery slope to how I spent my entire teenage years.”

Master Yoda is denying his personal involvement in cheerleading auditions for the Jedi team:

“Do or do not, there are no tryouts.”

—Master Yoda


In related news:

Isn’t It Time To Disband Sith Majorette Tryouts?



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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.