Agrabah—On Saturday night, after saying ‘Live from Dubai, it’s Saturday night!’, Saudi Arabian officials announced the arrest of 11 of their own Princes. They later added, “because our Princes go to 11.” King Salman’s number one, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, informed the Saudi press today, “I am the King’s number one and some of my friends really stepped in number two.” The Crown Prince is denying this is an attempt to consolidate power, “We have arrested 11 of our own. This is truly a sad day …for them. It’s really an even dozen Princes if you count Abdul bin Drinkin’, the jerk formerly known as Prince. He adopted some kind of symbol for his name. Crazy. I deported him too, but he can’t get on the plane because of the whole symbol thing. In the immortal words of the Beatles, We Can Work It Out. They are still family, so I chose to deport them to a country with both universal healthcare and an Olive Garden. I mean, I’m not a heartless Shiite for Allah’s sake.”
The highest ranking Saudi family member facing deportation is Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, who is best known for his acting role in the 1984 cult classic Johnny Dangerously. Of the filming Talal once said, “It was the best time of my life, except Michael Keaton was a bit of a douche.”
Prince Talal will remain on house arrest in his own Ritz Hotel until his pending banishment. The Daily Discord’s Mick Zano added, “That’s so cruel! It’s kind of like locking Trump up in Trump Tower, or King Arthur in Camelot, or Batman in the Bat Cave, or Sauron in Barad-dur, or Jabba the Hutt in Jabba’s Palace, or He-Man in the Castle Grayskull, or—
[Winslow here: I snipped the rest. You’re welcome.]
*On a personal note, I became a blogger only because this particular Saudi Prince looks just like Roman Moronie from the movie Johnny Dangerously and I knew that one day that particular Prince would screw up, and on that day I would be there… Now I can retire, having fulfilled my mission.