Tag Archive for political humor
I Think It’s Time To Go All ‘Office Space’ On The Clinton Machine
by Mick Zano •
The Discord is falling a bit short of endorsing Hillary Clinton. Truth be told I am not Ready For Hillary, nor am I convinced Bernie Sanders can win the general election. So here I sit in no-candidate land, Biden my time. Voting for Hillary seems a tad masochistic to me, thus the Death Star imagery. Sure it’s entertaining to watch The GOP implode, but 2016 is by no means a gimme for the Dems, nor is a Hillary Administration necessarily the best thing for America. The republican base is small but rabid, so approach Trump’s comb-over hair-weave thing with caution. As we approach this election cycle, Dems also beware as the S.S. Hillary is listing to port:
“This incessant republican witch hunt, coupled with a personality that makes John Kerry seem like that Dos Equis guy, could be a death knell for the Clinton candidacy.”
First Truly Bipartisan Action! Flame Retardant Dropped Into Trumps Mouth
by Mick Zano •
New York, NY—Bipartisanship is currently rampant on Capitol Hill. The 114th Congress is starting to coalesce around some key Donald-related-issues. Republicans are motivated to derail the Trump candidacy and Democrats just want to put an end to the incessant Trump-induced nausea (ITIN). John Cornyn, R-Texas, said, “If we all work together, not only could we kill this abomination of a campaign, but we could end the queasiness associated with Trump’s voice. Look, this job is sickening enough without the gorge-rising antics of The Trumpster. I only want to vomit the way Lord Reagan envisioned, after stripping government funding from those most in need.”
Diverting flame retardant from California onto The Donald’s face is not without its critics. “I want Trump to shut the F-up as much as the next guy,” said Congressman Adam Schiff, D-CA, “but that retardant could have saved homes in the town of Weed, CA, or even saved weed in the town of Homes, CA.”
Compromise Reached In Boy Scouts/Mormon Church Feud: Gay Scouts Must Have Multiple Spouses
by Mick Zano •
Salt Lake City, UT—Since the Boy Scouts of America’s decision to allow openly gay children into their fold, the Mormon Church threatened to outright sever relations. After lengthy negotiations rivaling the State Department’s Iran deal, the two organizations have reached an agreement. Mormons are allowed to enrich uranium for peaceful purposes, provided they allow the international community to inspect their magic underwear. Wait, what?
On Day One Trump To Personally Address “Anchor Baby” Problem
by Mr. Sherman •
Jindal Goes Rogue: I’m Your Worst Nightmare! Uh, Besides Trump
by Mick Zano •
Batshit Rouge, LA—Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal, is still not happy about missing the not-ready-for-prime-time republican debacle—er, debate. Fox News chose only the top ten contenders for this event, via their own questionable polling system. This left “Bobby” Jindal an outcast, wandering the country aimlessly.
At a press conference today Jindal held up a Spinal Tap T-shirt that read Our Debaters Should Go To Eleven. “I am going to war with the RNC!” said Jindal. “I will attack them with this large knife, with the back edge all serrated like. What do they call those? Anyway, you think Trump is terrorizing this circus, wait until they get a load of me.” He then started manically laughing and yelling, “Bring me The Batman. Bring me The Donald, hah, hah, hah!”
Proud Of Your Record GOP? Ask Your Doctor If Bullshitzia Is Right For You
by Mick Zano •
Decision 2016: GOP Unite Form Of Clown Car
by Mr. Sherman •
The first Republican debates will be held later today in Cleveland. Yes, you heard right, home of the Drew Carey Show and the Cleveland Browndians. Sorry I don’t follow sports, especially in Ohio. The debate will be hosted by Fox News and only the top ten polling candidates are invited to play. I plan to break each winner into a separate feature, but first let’s look at all of these folks and the rhetoric that makes them great…for a comedy site. Some fear that no meaningful discourse can result from having ten people on a debate stage, which is a ridiculous view. It’s a republican debate, people! …when has there ever been any meaningful discourse?
The Cocky Horror Picture Show
by Mick Zano •
Grafting together a hodgepodge of red tissue and dead issues, the rightwing media has spent the better part of the 21st century galvanizing an angry zombie army of the politically clueless. This faction has a new leader, but the monster of their own creation has officially lurched off the table, broken down the castle door, and is apparently golfing in Scotland. People of Scotland: please monitor all little girls sitting near ponds or wells. At the moment, there’s only one person who controls the republican bubble and it’s alive…It’s ALIVE!!!!!
New Reality Show Naked And Verklempt Cancelled After First Episode
by Mick Zano •
Hollywood, CA—The premise of the Naked and Verklempt series strands two naked Hasidic Jews on a deserted island each week to test their survival prowess. Sadly, a Discovery Channel spokesman announced today that both contestants from episode one had died within 48-hours. The producer of the show, Matt Narrows, said, “We’re really sorry about the deaths, but really happy they signed those waivers. We are not looking at this as a failure, because it was a damn entertaining 48-hours for all involved…uh, the deceased and their families excluded.”