Tag Archive for isis

Trump Now Calling His ‘Obama Founder of ISIS’ Comment ‘A Pun’


Youngstown, OHDuring a key foreign policy speech this week, presumptive republican nominee Donald Trump referred to the sitting president as the “founder of ISIS”. Initially Mr. Trump defended his statement as did many prominent republicans familiar with the delusional arts. The Donald then changed tact by downgrading his remarks to a form of sarcasm. When it was explained how sarcasm implies wit or irony and that his statement was neither, Mr. Trump replied, “I meant a pun. It’s a Yuuge pun! Or what’s it called when a word is spelled the same way backward?” Mr. Trump was then explained that the palindrome for ISIS is SISI, which is not particular funny and somewhat plagiaristic.

ISIS Claims Responsibility For Alternate Street Parking


Syria—The leader of ISIS, who wished to remain locationless, is claiming responsibility for what many in urban areas are calling “a major pain in the ass.” Alternate Street Parking remains a huge inconvenience for urban drivers, who risk fines or towing if they mistakenly park their car on the wrong side of the street overnight. Whereas Jihadists groups are claiming responsibility for this urban-fine-accruing-tactic (UFAT), many radicals groups are falling short of supporting downtown two-hour parking mandates and other meter-maid activities. “We may be jihadists, but we’re not complete assholes,” said local radical, Jihadi Jackson.

Indiana Jones Dispatched to Palmyra to Save Oldest Brewery

images3VF03CB0Palmyra, SY—The radical group calling itself the Islamic State, or ISIS, has laid siege and captured the ancient Syrian city of Palmyra. President Obama immediately enlisted the aid of a man known to many as the “Indiana Jones of lost archeology.” It is hoped Jones can save some of the oldest beers ever brewed.