Tweet Tower—In a chain of events that many are calling suspicious, Trump’s Helsinki interpreter, Marina Gross, ‘fell’ from an eight story building earlier today and landed on porn star Stormy Daniels. The two women suffered only minor injuries as both of Stormy’s breasts were deployed at the time of impact. The interpreter is now conscious and recovering at Stormybroke Hospital. When the interpreter was asked whether or not she was pushed from the building, she replied, “тебя столкнули со здания?”, which we are being told means: ‘Were you pushed from the building?’ in Russian. The rest of the interview proved to be equally as futile.
The White House is denying that the president’s two key goons, Vinny and Knuckles, were seen leaving the lobby of the same building moments before the incident. President Trump refused to comment on this matter, but he did call the event “unfortunate” and that his thoughts and prayers are with Stormy Daniel’s plastic surgeon. He later added, “You can interpret that anyway you want, fake news!”
Stormy Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti, has yet to comment publically on the incident. A close friend of Avenatti explains, “Michael is an introvert and really doesn’t like all the recent media attention.”