Dear Ghetto Shaman,

I saw you took a header into the gravel outside of Kimball’s last night.  I don’t see how what you are doing can be called spiritual in any way, shape, or form.  I think you even shit yourself!

Dave P.

Turbotville, PA

Dear Dave,

What you call “taking a header” I call a Divine Earth Kiss, besides it couldn’t have been me.  I am banned from Kimball’s.   Either way, it would be in your best interest to read my latest work The Tao of Incontinence.

The Ghetto Shaman

P.S.  Could you talk to Eric about getting me back in there?  If they’d let me in I wouldn’t shit myself, now would I?