GM Claims Fiery Crash New Feature Not Design Flaw

GM Claims Fiery Crash New Feature Not Design Flaw

“Oh, and don’t forget to test drive our new Zippo Surprise series. We filled all of our airbags with butane. Just think of the fun!” continued Barra.

When asked why none of these vehicles are being recalled, she said, “Because we meant to do this. Don’t you get it? We’ve even studied the 1970 Pinto extensively to see how they did it. Lethality is now an important part of the GM experience. It captures the essence of the new Detroit. If you are in a serious car accident, do you really want to gimp around in pain the rest of your life or spend tens of thousands on medical bills? No, you want to burst into flames like that Fast & Furious guy or Richard Pryor. What, too soon? Some afterlife or another, you’ll thank us—except maybe that small percentage of drivers who survive and end up on a burn unit somewhere.”

General Motors believes such innovative features like these are the future… “at least for those people who drive our cars and don’t really have a future,” added Barra.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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