Truck Filled With Alternative Facts Crashes En Route To White House

Indianapolis, IN—A semi-truck loaded with alternative facts slid off of Route I-465 earlier today as a result of some slippery political conditions. The truck toppled and the trailer ripped open scattering endless conservative crapola all over the interstate. The incident caused two lane closures and may have triggered several nonsensical executive orders. The shipment of Alt-Facts was set to arrive at the White House on Wednesday. The Trump Administration admitted some of the material was slated for use during an upcoming Trump press conference. Amongst the hodgepodge of circus-like wreckage included tens of thousands of marbles, but Republicans remain adamant that they clearly lost their marbles long ago.

A witness told the Discord that this was not an accident. The individual, who wished to remain preposterous, said, “I saw three hipsters lowering a giant banana peel from an overpass onto the highway shortly before the truck went by. Liberals never wanted any of this bullshit to reach the White House! They want President Trump to embarrass himself by forcing him to make things up in the moment! That’s bullshit!”

A police spokesperson told the Discord, “The shit really hit the fan today. No, really, there was a fan in the trailer and now it’s covered in bat guano. What a mess! If Mr. Trump was hoping to use some of this shit, uh, he better find some other shit.”

Apparently city planners are considering just abandoning this section of I-465 in favor of a less smelly bypass. Or maybe instead of a circle they could just go with a big U-shaped interstate around Indianapolis. Give me a U! Sorry, I used to be a cheerleader.

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