Monsters Inside U.S.

The mounting threats to our nation are endless, yet it’s easy to get mesmerized by the garden snake variety and ignore the cobras in the room. Republicans can’t even see the cobras at all, without the aid of a mirror. For this piece, let’s adopt a Deafcon system, because you’re all kind of deaf (the 12 Discord readers excluded, of course). R thinks we’re on the verge of communism and D believes we’re slipping toward a dictatorship. First off, the threat of becoming a communist nation is about a 1 on our Likert (1-5 threat scale). Mounting CRT concerns or no, there’s no clear path from Bernie to Stalin, unless you think Finland is about to annex Norway. From the progressive perspective, we are a social democracy striving to be a more functional one—social safety nets over failed military campaigns, a desire to direct our tax dollars to people over corporations, and other crazy stuff like that. On the fascism or despotism side of the equation, however, we are currently at DeafCon 3, and we will shift to Deafcon 4 in and around 2024. The next elections will not be pleasant and the possibility of a peaceful transition of power is waning. Again, this will look nothing like 1864, but the fallout could prove equally devastating. This is why, today, I am turning to both Christ and church, aka I’m moving to Christchurch, New Zealand.

While Discord headquarters is up to its eyeballs in disreputable Hillary-gate links, our country marches steadily toward its doom. Justice Roberts is now warning of a coming constitutional crisis wherein the states find ways around SCOTUS decisions. Isn’t it sad when all your cheating to elect conservative judges just isn’t enough to satisfy your zealotry and thirst for liberal blood? Roberts sees this strategy, aka the current abortion battle in Texas, as a Supreme Court workaround that could well be used as a blueprint for an all-out legal civil war. Per The Hill, Roberts said:

“Texas has employed an array of stratagems designed to shield its unconstitutional law from judicial review.” And “the clear purpose and actual effect” of the Texas law “has been to nullify this Court’s rulings.”

Republicans support the Constitution only when it suits them. This is not a principled bunch. A day will come soon when traveling between states will become perilous. I started warning about polarization at least 15 plus years ago and more recently announced our point of no return in 2017. Today, one study out of Ithaca agrees with my assessment. The study suggests we’ve reached a “critical reactor” level with regards to polarization, which from a societal standpoint marks the point of no return. This study suggests that even an external threat from Moscow, Beijing, or the Klingon homeworld will no longer unite us against a common threat. Any challenge, real or imagined, will be viewed through the prism of politics. Nothing more will cut through the Maddow v Carlson din.

Did Hillary Share Military Secrets with the Klingons?

Is Trump a Reptilian Operative?

Today, all relevant discourse is futile; there’s no longer a way out of this maze. And it’s this week my friend asks: why won’t people listen to facts? So sad. I have been dealing with this issue for 20 years, dude, and there’s 15 years’ worth of cognitive distortion articles in our cue, for your enjoyment. Why folks have tuned you out is probably due to your record, which you refuse to discuss. As Brietbartville continues to drag former Hillary associate, Charles Dolan, toward the gallows, the mistakes and failings of the Dimsurrection of 1/6 are all being corrected, one by one. Red state leadership will not so easily hand over the electoral delegates to the winner in 2024 and beyond. But I know, I know Hillary’s possible wrongdoings uberalles. Can you spell misogyny? I can’t. I always rely on the spell check feature. Yes, Hillary is pretty shady (surprise emoji face), but, no, I do not believe some orchestrated effort will emerge implicating half of DC in a plot to overthrow Trump. But, sadly, there’s just enough truth there to keep half the country distracted from the coup occurring right now.

You want proven orchestration? Read this Atlantic article. It breaks down every step of the plot on January 6th and the course corrections being put into place, across our state systems, for Dimsurrection 2.0. And no gaps need filled in with Foxal matter; it’s all there. This is what a complete, orchestrated narrative looks like, Poke. Here’s one excerpt:

“Today that reads like a coup plotter’s to-do list. Since the 2020 election, Trump’s acolytes have set about methodically identifying patches of resistance and pulling them out by the roots. Brad Raffensperger in Georgia, who refused to “find” extra votes for Trump? Formally censured by his state party, primaried, and stripped of his power as chief election officer. Aaron Van Langevelde in Michigan, who certified Biden’s victory? Hounded off the Board of State Canvassers. Governor Doug Ducey in Arizona, who signed his state’s “certificate of ascertainment” for Biden? Trump has endorsed a former Fox 10 news anchor named Kari Lake to succeed him, predicting that she “will fight to restore Election Integrity (both past and future!).” Future, here, is the operative word. Lake says she would not have certified Biden’s victory in Arizona, and even promises to revoke it (somehow) if she wins. None of this is normal.”

This is not a republican false narrative, one lovingly baked in Hannity’s Easy Fake oven. It marks the beginning of the end (giant radioactively enlarged grasshoppers sold separately). No dots are left to fill in by active imaginations. The only question: will the January 6th committee’s findings be ignored. Liz Cheney is implying Trump broke 18 U.S. Code § 1512 (Tampering with a witness, victim, or an informant). More information is coming out how Fox & Friends tried to reign in their monster on 1/6, but failed.


Most republicans want to hijack our system more subtly, which is a difference of tactics but not of the overall goal. Trump needed to do things quickly or face a legal onslaught; thus his desperation. Patience is not the hallmark of a despot. Fox News & their Friends are looking for a more strategic coup, but their message to the Prez and the public was very different on that fateful day. As part of the 1/6 committee, Vox covers their texts to Trump vs their same day on-air comments:

Texts directly to Mark Meadows:

“The president needs to tell people in the Capitol to go home. This is hurting all of us. He is destroying his legacy,” Laura Ingraham texted to White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows. “Please, get him on TV — [the riot is] destroying everything you accomplished,” Brian Kilmeade wrote to Meadows. “Can he make a statement, ask people to leave the Capitol?” wrote Sean Hannity in yet another Meadows text.”

Their same day on-air comments:

“Ingraham suggested that “antifa supporters” may have been responsible for the violence. Kilmeade took a similar line: “I do not know Trump supporters that have ever demonstrated violence that I know of in a big situation.” Hannity, for his part, asserted that “the majority of them were peaceful.”

Fox News hosts lying shouldn’t be news. Only when they tell the truth is it interesting. If they do tell the truth …what are they up to? Meanwhile, will anyone of any caliber go down for their 1/6 antics? It doesn’t look good for Mark Meadows, but most court decisions from here on out will have more to do with the political makeup of the judge or jury than any wrongdoing. Bigger question, will the next coup attempt succeed? Yes, I think it already has. The republicans will likely win the next election outright—without the aid of their back-burner coup plot—but they can always store that away until 2028, provided this country is still a thing by then.

Enters the next stage of this magnificent resistance: the pièce de résistance of all resistance movements seeking peace.

After we shift autocratward, our liberal friends will hold up their silly signs and try to ‘unfriend’ their new dictator, before switching back to Call of Duty 7 on their Playstations. Powerful stuff, gang. Good luck ‘cancelling’ your futures. I hope your ‘safe space’ is subterranean or at least bullet proof.

This is bit darker than usual, Zano, even for you. Seems a bit over the top.

Is it really? Shit is going to get very ugly, folks. I don’t know how ugly, but 30% of our population is prepared to camp out in the woods, some of them already are, for the purpose of stockpiling firearms and winning back America from the smart people. It’s happening now. I have examples in my region and my personal life. Conservatives of the MAGA movement are functioning at or around the same level of consciousness as Islamic extremists and, worse, they have rigged the deck to stay politically relevant. The Intelligence community has identified them recently as our greatest threat, but I started warning you about them ages ago. Not sure how fast or how far this country will fall, but down we will go. I used to think the fact liberals always presented different arguments and perspective was a strength, especially over their counterparts’ unified wrongness, but I don’t anymore. Liberals are a bundle of attention deficit disorders stuffed in a bong.

I recently read the line: you can’t lift people up by calling them ‘idiots’, so today let’s go with ‘dipshits’. All 12 of the members of the Zano Nation excluded, of course. Wait, I am being told we lost one. Crap.



(Visited 137 times, 1 visits today)
Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.