Washington, DC—Heartland Congressman, William Marshall, is calling for the immediate banishment of all Muppets and all citizens who test positive for the Muppet gene. Marshall is not alone, as most real Americans feel Muppets are not real, nor are they Americans.
“They aren’t like us. They’re dangerous,” said Marshall, an avid X-men fan. “We should identify all of them immediately and send them to that island off the coast of Africa with the rest of the Brotherhood of Mutants.”
Sarah Palin also joked about hunting Muppets from her helicopter.
“My fellow Americans are right about the need to sepregate these things from the general population,” said Palin. Her staff then spent the rest of the night desperately trying to add the word sepregate to Wikipedia.
Radio television personality, Rush Limbaugh, believes, “It’s the job of the government to keep its citizens safe from any and all threats domestic and Fozzy.” Limbaugh differs, however, on where to send them. “The Land of Misfit Toys near the North Pole will suffice. Let Santa Claus deal with these Henson genegineered monstrosities!”