Waterloo, IA—Using the Neconicon, an ancient conservative grimorie, four brave progressives coaxed Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann, back into the hellish alternate Universe from whence she came.
“It’s truly over,” said Dr. Sterling Hogbein of the Hogbein Institute and Sauna. “One of the key demonic forces in politics is gone forever.”
Eyewitnesses claim Bachmann was lured to a pre-designated location by setting up a mock LBGTQ Facebook Meetup group in her hometown of Waterloo, Iowa.
“With the elections closing in, Iowa was the obvious choice,” said the lead political exorcist, a man who wishes to remain anonymous. “Her hometown made it perfect. We picked a remote location on the outskirts of town, announced it on Facebook, and prepared the area using passages from the Neoconicon. Flamboyant decoys were then placed around a table located directly over the portal.”
After she took the bait, no injuries were reported. However, a pink Versace shirt and several matching accessories were irreparably damaged. The Elton John impersonator also reports suffering an “awful fright.”
The unnamed spokesperson denies Sarah Palin will be a target of any future black magic ops, “No, no, Bachmann was the only genuine succubus in politics, Palin is more of a Foxgoblin.”