Washington, DC – The infamous Beer Summit designed to help smooth over Obama’s recent comments about the arrest of Harvard Professor, Henry Gates, did nothing of the sort. Professor Gates set the negative tone for the evening by ordering a Black Label. Officer Crowley wasted no time countering with a Blue (police officer) Moon (dropping my pants, metaphorically, asshole). President Obama could have opted to take the high ground, but instead decided to order an Extra Special Bitter.
Crowley then asked, “Oh, I see you like bitter beers, Mr. President, you should try Rogue Dead Guy Ale.”
The President countered with, “It’s a shame there are no doughnut flavored beers for our men in blue.”
Crowley then asked, “Have you ever tried a Negro Pendejo?”
Gates, through gritted teeth, corrected him, “I think you mean, Negra Modelo.”
The conversation went south from there. This reporter seriously doubts whether Pete’s Prejudice Porter from White Supremacist Brewery is even a real beer.
To add citation to injury, following the event, Sergeant Crowley pulled the president and professor over on their way back to the professor’s hotel.
“I had probable cause,” stated Crowley. “I was invited into their crib where they proceeded to crack 40s right in front of me.”
When questioned as to whether this action constituted entrapment, Crowley responded “When you see two of ‘those types’ in a limo, it’s usually a king-pin, a rap-group, or a car-jacking. No matter how you slice it, it comes up felony.”
Allegedly, Obama’s cocaine and hookers bribe fell on deaf beers.