Trump Turns The Tables On Psychotic Symptoms: Voices Trapped In Trump’s Head “Want Out!”

Tweet Tower—President Trump has apparently taken charge of his own consciousness. The “voices” plaguing the president for many years have finally bowed to his will. Channeling Rorschach from the Watchmen, Trump told his voices, “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here WITH MEEEE! Bigly!” The voices are now reportedly “freaking out” and are requesting the president start some anti-psychotic medications to “give us a break from the incessant idiocy.” White House officials are denying claims that at least one of the voices in the president’s head is now on suicide watch.

One voice, who would prefer to remain anonymous, told the Discord, “He’s up all the time, tweeting bullshit. Everyone else I’ve ever tormented wants to sleep at some point and that’s when we can really start to work our magic. But this guy? Being in his head is fucking horrible.” The voice is asking if there are any transplant options and if it’s covered under TrumpCare.

The president insisted the voices remain in his brain in a series of presidential tweets:

 

 

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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