This Day In Future History: Trump Denies Obstruction Of Justice Claims After Ordering Mueller’s Execution

Tweet Tower—The Trump camp is downplaying the sudden trial and execution of former FBI-Director Robert Mueller, which occurred while the president and his family were dining at his Mar-A-Lago resort yesterday. The president refused to speak on the matter, but he did mention that the meal was wonderful and for dessert they had “the best cheesecake!” Ever since Mueller’s appointment as the special counsel for the investigation into Trump’s alleged collusion with Russia, the president has been ramping up his complaints with the former FBI Director. “He was a douche,” said Trump. “So my lawyers suggested we employ a couple of my old friends from Atlantic City, Mr. Tiny and Mr. Knuckles.”

President Trump told the Discord, “Mr. Mueller’s investigation was becoming a distraction. It was keeping me from fulfilling all my campaign promises. It is making me so mixed up, we now have a wall around tax reform and only illegal aliens are eligible for my healthcare. I need to time to think …or at least to learn how.”

Trump also made comments on CNN Wednesday, “My statements to the Daily Discord were ‘fake news’.”  Press Secretary Sean Spicer came to the aid of the president and told the press how none of the President’s comments on any matters of the state should be taken seriously.

Kidding, Sean Spicer was executed several weeks earlier during brunch. The best brunch!

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