Admit it, we all have a certain morbid curiosity to see President Trump in action.
Mick Zano
Mick Zano
Survey: 1 in 45 Children Autistic? Now Think About All Those Agencies The GOP Wants To Gut But Can’t Spell
by Mick Zano •
The Real Carson Retired to Tahiti! Is GOP Candidate One Of The Conjoined Twins Carson Operated On?
by Mick Zano •
Many are wondering how the lead republican nominee, Ben Carson, could possibly be a top pediatric neurosurgeon. Many of his comments seem astonishingly obtuse, especially for an accomplished math-a-physician. Today, there is mounting evidence Carson is not the good doctor, but is actually the patient! The Discord has exclusive evidence the person masquerading as Ben Carson is one of the two German conjoined twins he successfully separated in 1987. Granted the children in question are exceedingly white, Germanic, and were toddlers at the time, but it still remains a more plausible story than a neurosurgeon creationist who thinks the Great Pyramids are grain silos.
Debate Shifts Toward Policy: Turns Out Republicans Don’t Have Any
by Mick Zano •
Vegas interrupted my debate viewing pleasure a tad, but I got the gist of it. Small government (flashing lights and sounds), lower taxes (cocktail waitress), gut regulations (yellling from the craps table). I can’t stand these debates anymore. Leave me alone, Mr. Winslow! I’m in Vegas researching an important Guinness feature. I like Guinness, much more than I like conservatives. The republican debates were fun for a while but now it’s time to focus on other things, you know…like these gentlemen escorting me out of the casino.
Bachmann Breaks Down Tonight’s GOP Debate
by Mick Zano •
Is Carson’s Theory Of Ancient England Un-Henged?
by Mick Zano •
Fortune Cookie Retraction
by Mick Zano •
Moguls Unite Form Of Rubio
by Mick Zano •
If only republicans could harness Rubio’s palpableness, or, in this case, his Palaptineness. I like to start off by not making sense, but let me explain how our democracy works today. Sorry that I used the words democracy and works and today in the same sentence. Boy, I’m off to a worse start than the Mets. Republicans can’t identify their best and brightest, which is shocking when one considers how few exist. Celestially speaking, if republicans were a heavenly body they would be a black hole. They’re a large light-bending mass capable of sucking the air out of any room, and then the room, and then the planet the room is situated on. Theory of Irrelativity?
Children Of The Corny Turning On Trump? Will Iowa Be Trump’s Waterloo?
by Mick Zano •
Halloween 2015 finds Donald Trump spooked and crashing back to Earth like Wild E. Coyote meets Icarus meets a certain David Bowie movie. Polls show Ben Carson topping Trump as much as 14% in the state that holds the first key challenge. The Donald is hoping to change his fortunes there, but as he tours through the heartland many of the locals are demanding he, “Go back to Las Altantic, you moran!” and, “We’re voting for the neurosturgeon, dummy!” These are typically accompanied by other encouraging shouts for Ben Carson, in the form of racial slurs. Most of these tend to take the form of Blazing Saddles quote variations, such as: “The new sheriff is a neurosturgeon” and “Lookee here, boys, where all the white voters at?” It typically gets worse after happy hour.
