Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.

God Pulls Plug On Cruz Candidacy

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Heaven—God is reportedly “furious” with Senator Ted Cruz’s recent political antics. As Cruz delivered a speech on the virtues of clean Tar Sands earlier today, God disrupted the proceedings with a blinding flash of Photoshopped light. God then commanded: “Thou shalt retire from politics indefinitely!” The almighty later told reporters he was not impressed with the Texas Senator’s recent debate performance or his fantasy football picks. God then sent an official Notice of Tablet to Cruz Headquarters, certified mail, within the required time frames.

Discord Gets Exclusive Photo At Biden/Warren Secret Meeting

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Washington, DC—Elizabeth Warren admitted to the press today that when Vice President Joe Biden asked her to be his running mate, “Shit got a little weird.” Biden is considering Warren as a potential running mate, but he chose to pop the question to her amidst his own raucous Hawaiian-themed nudist pot party.

The released photo, above, has many believing this ticket is already dead on arrival. When Elizabeth Warren was questioned about her fashion faux pa, a hand shaped bra, she said, “Look, I either get a bra with Biden’s hands already fondling me, or I have to contend with the genuine article. I was choosing the lesser of two evils. For the next party I just need to CYA, if you follow.”

Points: Why Republicans Don’t Seem to Make Any

The only thing Pokey and I can agree on these days is how we both speak different languages. Ich habe es dir gesagt, Herr Pokey! My friends list of top concerns is, in and of itself, very concerning. In 2015 we can all do better than conspiracy theories wrapped in delusion. Crappetizers? There’s clearly some stuff worth hashing out from his last post. Speaking of which, hopefully that “candy” will come in handy during this endeavor.