Indonesian Volcano Claims Responsibility For Eruption, Tsunami, And Related Death Toll

Toosoon, Indonesia—Satellite images released by the Japan Aerospace Picture Satellite prove the volcano known as Anak Krakatoa was responsible for blowing its top last week and creating a wave of hostile H2O molecules bent on destroying everything in its path. Shortly after the release of the satellite photos, the volcano claimed responsibility for the vile, heinous and unwarranted act. Since the event targeted Indonesians living at or around the volcano itself many liberals are labeling this a hate crime. Yeah, very magmananimous of them…

A recent Toosoon poll suggests many of the inhabitants admit that moving under the very shadow of a volcano whose name means Baby Krakatoa was “probably not the best idea.” HR directors across the island have pointed out how the eruption violated company smoking area policy and this will be added to the volcano’s permanent record.

Yeah, that’s all I got today. It’s cold in Flagstaff, damn. Too cold to even walk downtown (sad face). But speaking of Flagstaff, here’s some related news: ISIS Claims Responsibility For Smell At Maloney’s!

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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