A prime example of a false equivalency appeared in my last article, which made me realize I haven’t done justice to this subject, or any other subject for that matter. False equivalencies are a prevalent tactic for the GOP. It’s the cognitive distortion of choice for a group who keeps trying to make the argument that they still have an argument. Today’s obvious example is Trump V Hillary. “Say what you want about Trump, but that Hillary is just as bad!” On what fucking planet? Benghazi Colony IV? They really believe they’re equally incompetent/evil. In reality one would preside over a third Obama-like recovery and the other would bomb Canada. Get to the escape pods! The Benghazi Colonies are under attack from the Decepto-neocons!
Tag Archive for Hillary Clinton
Hillary Attempts To Pivot To General Election As Email-Gate Widens
by Mr. Sherman •
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Trump Campaign
by Mick Zano •
Syria—The head of the self-proclaimed Islamic State, Abdul Mohammed-Edlestein, is claiming responsibility for Donald Trump. ISIS worked diligently to infilitrate the Donald’s personality and promised a “really great deal”, if he agreed to work for them as a double agent. “We promised him cars and girls,” said Mohammed-Edelestein. “The usual. We did this using a series of suggestive Tweets. Join ISIS, Donald! #carsNgirls #DesertHotties4U. We promise different things depending on the region of the world, but for Americans we always get them on the old cars-and-girls routine. You see, some Republicans are fighting for us and the rest are recruiting for us. It’s win win! The cars are actually U.S. military and the girls are just us wearing hijabs (ha, ha!). We like dressing like girls, but don’t tell our creator.”
The Discord Is Calling It For Madam President: HRC Is DNC’s New VIP
by Mick Zano •
Clinton Downplaying Pending Presidential Pantsuit Shortage
by Mick Zano •
Trumpghazi? Chicago Rally Attacks Were Planned, Not The Spontaneous Protest Of A Hateful Ass-Clown
by Mick Zano •
Trump Tower—The Donald told reporters today the events at last night’s Trump rally in Chicago were planned and coordinated attacks. He believes they were not, as Hillary Clinton maintains, a spontaneous demonstration carried out by random progressive protestors. Trump believes this attack was anything but random. Trump said, “Chicago has become a vacuum of power under the Obama Administration. As a result, Illinois has become a failed state. Not to mention I hate the way they spell it. It’s weird. It’s weird. Chicago and its surrounding communities have become an ideal breeding ground for what I call progressive progressiveness. Why won’t Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama call Illinois what it is? It’s a poorly spelled, failed state. Their gross incompetence has helped to create Irrational-Shitty-Idiotic-Liberals (ISIL).”
Bernie Wins 7th Debate With Rousing Rendition Of Hamlet
by Mick Zano •
Flint, MI—At the Democratic debate last night Hillary Clinton clearly felt the Bern. Leading up to this debate, Bernie Sanders was under increased scrutiny to provide more details when answering questions. In a move no one saw coming, the longest serving Senator wowed the audience with scenes from Hamlet and other Shakespearean classics. When Hillary attacked Sanders for failing to support the auto-industry bailouts, he responded, “We don’t need cars. A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!” The crowd loved it. When the issue turned to the water crisis in Flint, he responded with a W.C. Fields quote before finishing with Macbeth. “I never drink water because of the disgusting things fish do in it. Out, damn’d spot! out, I say!” Even people in the audience suffering from lead poisoning themselves couldn’t help but give Bernie a standing ovation.
Hillary Clinton “Nonplussed” By Daily Discord Endorsement
by Mick Zano •
Flagstaff, AZ—The Tuesday before Super Tuesday is about to get even supererer as The Daily Discord is throwing a HUGE endorsement Hillary’s way. Many of my fellow contributors are clearly Berning, so this was a tough choice. My rants over the last decade are imbued with a common theme. I feel strongly that a Republican supermajority would be worse than when Kidz Bop opened for that Jonas Brothers cover band. Never again! My ultimate decision to support Hillary is twofold: 1. Hillary is one the most qualified candidates in recent memory and 2. most of her popularity problems are based on either the actions of her husband, or what we in the industry call “bullshit.” When it comes to complaints there’s very little there, there. Her main problem is her likeability. She’s a walking personality-void in a pantsuit. She makes John Kerry seem like the Most Interesting Man in the World. “I don’t always endorse candidates for president, but when I do, they where pant suits.”
Hillary Hacked! Frontrunner Served After Self-Serving Selfie Slip
by Mick Zano •
Hearings Help Hillary? Bend Over Benghazi
by Mick Zano •
We’ve perseverated on this Libyan tragedy for so long that today, I would like to shift gears and celebrate Benghazi. Not the dead people part, but the ramifications. Your dogged fixation on this unfortunate event has created some wonderful fodder over the years and, like it or not, it’s only acted to solidify Madame President’s chances. This has always been a bitch hunt, but one you were destined to lose. Hillary’s a little more Mentalist to your mental. The GOP is so lost in their own delusions, I knew they would mess this up. Hillary has not only “lost more sleep” on this issue than the lot of you, she’s smarter than the lot of you. She’s a Sherlock to your Inspector Clouseau. The Pink Pantsuit? Now, thanks to this latest farce, Hillary is on a roll and I’m afraid The GOP is pretty much toast.