Alternate Royal Wedding Plans, Code Name: Operation Vegas Elope

Alternate Royal Wedding Plans, Code Name: Operation Vegas Elope

London, UK—The Royal Family is denying allegations the backup plan for the happy couple’s big day involved a Las Vegas chapel wedding.  A WikiLeaks document reveals the alternative ceremony involved an Elvis impersonator performing the nuptials, and the entertainment included two members from the Blue Man Group, Penn, of Penn and Teller fame, as well as the tiger that ate Roy. 

The top secret document reveals a list of pros and cons to holding the wedding covertly in Vegas without media coverage.  Some of the pros included: Item 27: save enough cash to send 20,000 of our citizens to college, Item 35: If Prince Harry drops his pants, less of an audience, Item 56: That Cuban sandwich place north of the Stratosphere.  Item 112: the money saved on security alone would be enough to send the entire Royal Family into space on one of Richard Branson’s new spaceships.  Under the cons column were nearly as many entries: Item 12: parking is a bitch, Item 161: the shilling would not work in a massage bed, and Item 30: the next morning Prince Harry might be married to one of the Blue Man Group.

Less security was also a plus as Prince William would have been disguised as Hunter S. Thompson and Kate Middleton planned to dress as Snooki.  The overnight accommodations were at the luxurious Vegas Chalet Motel.  The motel “package” came complete with the aforementioned coin operated massaging beds and a complimentary mojito at nearby Frankies Tiki Room (a favorite destination of “Vegas Great” Bald Tony).

“The mojito almost won the day,” admitted Queen Elizabeth.  “I mean, we never considered Vegas.”

Frankies Tiki Room
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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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