Frum Here To Absurdity: One Man’s Futile Fight For Republican Reform

frumgopmlDear David Frum, start a new party, sincerely Reality. To take a page from Trump, how about some 2nd Amendment options? I think your party needs to be taken out back and shot. There used to be a counterpart to liberal excesses. Back in the day, I would even talk about the sane Republicans like George Will, Andrew Sullivan, David Frum and Damon Linker. Today, it’s kind of a last man standing thing. All but Frum left the GOP (with prejudice). Mr. Frum understands why George Will recently called it quits and yet he remains bent on reforming this seemingly hopeless party. After watching the VP debate, your alternate reality is complete. You have a megalomaniacal ass-clown as your nominee and an evangelical reality-denier VP, who “won” the debate by denying everything his boss said. Nothing to see here. When it came to foreign policy questions, Pence’s views are beyond historical revisionism; it’s historical negationism. Your party is like watching the Aytollaha at the Holocaust Museum or Senator James “Snowball” Inhofe at Glacier National Park. Can I make a citizens arrest on an entire political party? Pull over to the curb, hands where I can see them (bang). Oops, I thought your Bible was loaded. Sorry, no indictment. The NRA bumper sticker was probable cause.

The biggest complaint from the #NeverTrump faction is how The Donald is not a real conservative. There are no real conservatives. Give me a break. There’s no longer a there, there. Your party is a few planks short of a viable platform. Your belfry is so full of bats you’re giving Bruce Wayne the willies. There’s so many toys in your party’s attic, you even managed to run FAO Schwartz out of business.
And, your last man standing is nonplussed:
“A healthy patient would not have succumbed to the opportunistic infection that is the Trump candidacy. The Republican Party is ill, and it has been ill for a long time. But quitting won’t help: An American political party can only be reformed from within.”

David Frum (on George Will’s GOP departure)

Throw in the towel, dude. The Muslim Reformation has a better chance of working than any Republican one. What is salvageable from this party of yours? What do you want to pack? The misogyny, the racism, the xenophobia, the climate denial, the science denial, the economic fantasies?
“The best part of conservativism trickled-down Reagan’s economy.”

If you’re a Who fan, put out the fire and don’t look past your shoulder, or, if you’re more of a Walsh fan, turn your pretty head and walk away. Hey, but at least Frummy has identified the problem:

“One can disavow Trump, but if one disavows Trump’s voters, one has effectively surrendered any hope of a center-right alternative in national politics.”
Yep, they’re not going anywhere. Rightwing media has created this know-nothing army and every day that we mistake Fox for news things will continue to deteriorate. You can’t even circle the wagons, because, well, a certain Blazing Saddles scene comes to mind. I was furious with Kaine’s performance this week. How does one lose a debate to a Republican …in 2016? Pence denied everything Trump said and then every foreign policy answer hinged on the tearing of eight years from the pages of history. The fact Kaine couldn’t call him out on this was stunning. All the media, including Slate, focused on Pence’s Trump-quote denialism, but that wasn’t the infuriating part. When Pence lied about the stability of Iraq I shouted at the tv: “if you think Iraq was a garden paradise in 2008, you need to pee into this cup, Governor!” The best part of your “Surge” just flooded my favorite Daytona bar. It was a return to the old Republican fable that the Middle East was just fine until the black guy showed up.
The media on both sides has allowed these alternate realities to fester. Pence accused Kaine of living in an alternate reality and it’s the only thing he got right ALL NIGHT. Different parties = different dimensions. So the question of our time becomes which narrative is closer to reality? I have maintained over the years how Dems get shit right about sixty percent of the time and Republicans, on a good day, muster about ten. I know, you’re saying “what ten percent?” Whereas it’s true their narrative hardly mimics reality anymore, they do have a rare point now and again. You just have to find the nugget of gold in Bullshit Mountain.

You have your work cut out for you Mr. Frum. As damaging as Drudge and AM radio are, I believe you are going to need to start any Republican reform with a television network. This is unfortunately the only way to make enough of an impact on this bubble on non-reality currently masquerading as a political party. I’ll even agree to be the liberal who joins your panels! I’ll bring the entire Zano Nation, all 11 of us.

So call Sullivan, call Will, call Linker and start something fresh. But not too fresh, unless you buy me dinner. You can do it, Dave! You still have a brain, but that can no longer be said of your party. Oh, and I left out Jonah Goldberg over at The National Review, on purpose. Don’t bother with anyone from The Weekly Standard either. They have the prognostication skills of a mop bucket. Maybe pack some items from the libertarian movement. I don’t like Johnson or Rand. Maybe Ron Paul, if you can arrange for one of those Futurama head tanks. Not sure about Charles Krauthammer. I agree he’s smart, at least comparatively, but he’s never really applied himself to this reality. Over the years he hasn’t offered anything but bad advice to our commanders-in-chief. If you want someone hawkish and savvy on foreign policy, I’m afraid you’re left with the grim task of reanimating Christopher Hitchens. Try typing “Pet Cemetary” into your GPS.

See? It’s going to be really light packing, Dave. Nothing but room for growth here. Before you jump to television, start with a Meetup group somewhere downtown. I’m sure there’s enough savvy Republicans left to fill a booth at Denny’s. Hope springs eternal. I’ll even attend the first few to get things going. I promise to do avoid sticking a fork in the back of the hand of the first guy who say Benghazi …again.


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