Dear GOP, It’s Just Dissonance Now: Cognitive Dissonance Implies Thought

trumpmaxLet’s downgrade all Republican cognitive thought distortions to simply distortions as cognition has little to do with it. Today’s GOP is so far from the truth even Fox Mulder is like, “Damn, that’s some crazy conspiracy shit.” The closest they ever get to reality is the coveted half-truth. The half-truth is out there? The nonsense espoused at the recent RNC is proof that logic no longer has a place amidst this Angry Mob of Misinformed ‘Muricans. AMMM radio?

Sure the GOP would argue its relevance, but if you are still processing information accurately then how come you’re always wrong?  ….or, more accurately, wronger? Vote for the tyrant for freedom! End taxes to pay down the deficit! No safety net for wellbeing! No unions for the worker! Unnecessary wars to victory! No regs for the rapture! With this approach to reality, how are we ever going to pay for Herr Trump’s annexation of Canada? Wait… I think what the GOP is doing might actually be a form of thought, just the opposite. Noruens? How about contra-cognitions? …no? Reverse politistalsis?

When did facts become so abhorrent? Speaking of reverse politistalsis, I have reflux issues whenever I hear Trump’s voice.

The Conservative Party: brought to you by the makers of Zantac.

I keep going on about thought distortions because they are key factors in explaining how your Facebook threads have become virtual land mines. Having any kind of a political discussion anymore is like leaving a sea urchin on the floor of Grand Central Station, totally pointless.

A popular cognitive distortion remains filtering, or:

Take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. For instance, a person may pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it exclusively so that their vision of reality becomes darkened or distorted, or:


Filtering is certainly Matt Drudge‘s bread and butter. He tries to highlight every crime perpetrated by an illegal alien to promote the theme that all Mexicans are rapists and all immigrants will never assimilate. I checked Drudge right before sending this article to post and, of course, one of his headlines didn’t disappoint: Man with 4DUIs Caught Crossing Border Illegally (Aug, 3). Of course this guy was stopped at the border. Drudge would have preferred he made it into the U.S. by running over the border agent while mowing down a bunch of nuns. Better luck next time, Matt!

Another popular brand for the distortive arts is catastrophizing, which explains Benghazi (certainly dozens of hearings haven’t). That was my favorite by the way: The Hardy Boys and the Secret of the Libyan Embassy. Speaking of which, why didn’t anyone ever call Child Protective Services on Fenton Hardy? Talk about neglect… that guy made Al Bundy look like Ward Cleaver.

“Where are the kids, Fenton?”

“It’s Tuesday night, honey, so they’re probably just busting-up another smuggling ring over by the sea cliffs.”

Similarly, the GOP, the so-called personal responsibility people, need a time out in juvenile detention. I will never understand how they managed to turn Benghazi into the worst thing to befall civilization since reality television. The RNC was surreal. It was designed to push the narrative that these last eight years have been the darkest our country has ever faced. On that note, I would like to add a new contra-cognition today to Wiki-World:

Crapprehension: The use of generous portions of Foxal Matter to increase anxiety and to create the impression that everything is much worse than it actually is (just be thankful I didn’t go with Anxiety InDunceing).

Crapprehension is when you create fear through stupidity, then blame those in power for your own hyperbole. Trevor Noah recently highlighted how Trump proposed a hypothetical, then cited his own comment later that day as the source. It’s not that dissimilar anywhere on Bullshit Mountain. Thus we hear shit like Hillary is a liar, Hillary is a liar, Hillary is a liar, followed by:

Fox News Shock Poll: Majority of Americans think Hillary is a liar!

They are very adept at creating reality through the use of Foxal Matter. The question remains, is there anything else they’re good at? Fox Lies Matter! Juan Cole already dispelled most of the RNC narrative with a recent article, here.

Summary Alert:

Border crossings from Mexico = down

Overall violence in America = down

Overall violence on police officers = down

Bullshit from GOP = Waaaaay The F Up


President Obama also addressed some of the Pferdscheiss emanating from the right:

“This idea that America is on the verge of collapse is wholly invented, or what Mick Zano refers to as crapprehension.”
Barack Obama

*Paraphrased while tripping. Fine, here’s the link to the actual quote.

What we have is a sitting president stating, once again, how an entire political party is espousing views that simply do not jive with the basic political and economic realities. My biggest criticism of Obama is that he needed to call out their bullshit more often. His attempt to stay above the fray allowed this alternate reality to fester. Of course, Republicans would have easily dismissed any such efforts with, YOU LIE!

Reminder Alert: remember when that asshole senator from SC yelled YOU LIE! during the 2009 State of The Union Address? Well, PolitiFact found some examples of truth-shifting during that same Obama speech, but surprise, surprise, not for the comment that triggered the ridiculous outburst (here).

Isn’t that poignant? In the 21st century this is the GOP’s modus operandi. Time and time again we see the truth met with a blind fury. There were several misstatements during Obama’s 2009 SOTU. Whereas shouting YOU LIE! would never be justified in such a setting, at least pick a point in the speech when a lie is uttered. This senator felt the need to yell because he believes Obamacare covers illegals’ healthcare. I am in the field. We always cover the Emergency Room to keep people from crimping, Obamacare has not expanded coverage to med floors for illegals. Period.

They keep tying themselves in these knots because conservatives base all of their decisions on an emotional reaction. They then perpetuate this narrative through thought distortions to justify their guttural beliefs. They hate Hillary and there’s no telling them otherwise. The best overall defense of Hillary, which actually shifted my own needle a bit, was recently posted by the Daily Kos, here. It shows how misogyny is a bigger player in the Hillary hating mantra than most realize.

Let’s wrap up today’s post with a letter submitted for approval to The Weekly Standard, but rejected:

Dear Republicans,

You can stop being the butt of every joke, anytime now. Kidding, I could lose my 11 viewers. The doomsday clock moved two ticks closer to disaster this week. Not because of all the things you blather on about, but rather due to your exceedingly poor life choices (See: Trump nomination). Sadly, The Donald personifies your party’s current level of consciousness. The collective unconscious? He is a strong man and he is a sociopath, but above all he is a fool. He thereby captures the essence of all that you have strived to become in the 21st century. Irrelevant.



P.S. Oh, and look behind you, I think you dropped something. It’s called objectivity. You can’t see it? It’s right there, in the gutter …you know, where you spend all of your political capital. Kidding, you don’t have any political capital. Actually, you no longer have anything in common with a political party. You have reduced yourselves to nothing more than an anti-intellectual cult. So I strongly advise all of you to immediately relocate to either French Guiana, Waco Texas, or the comet Hale-Bopp. And don’t let Heaven’s Gate hit you on the ass on the way out. The cult of anti-personality?

*Kidding about The Weekly Standard. I would never submit anything to that rag. If The Standard is the apex of conservative thought, this is going to be a long century for ‘Murica.


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